Trump Orders DOD To Create 'Space Fleet' And I Want In

“It is not enough to merely have an American presence in space, we need to have American dominance in space. I am hereby directing the Department of Defense (DOD) and Pentagon to immediately begin the process necessary to establish a Space Force as the sixth branch of the Armed Forces.”

“That’s a big statement.”

::double jazz-hands for emphasis::

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“We are going to have the Air Force, and we are going to have the Space Force. It is going to be something so important. General Dunford, if you would carry that assignment I would be very greatly honored also. Where is he? Alright, let’s go get it, General.”

Am I an “expert” with “knowledge” on any of this stuff? Not by a long shot. So here’s a few thoughts anyway:

1) Trump has a history of ambushing his #squad with yuge announcements. Did Gen. Dunford know this was going to be announced? If not, lulz, surprise!

2) If this is legit, it’s going to suck up a lot of resources & cost an enormous butt-load of money. So Large, what defense contractors should we be investing in here? I’m trying to make that intergalactic green.

3) Not to sound like an internet wacko (too late), but perhaps it’s not that crazy. If you think Canada’s not already way ahead on this – er, China – maybe switch that to China… because speaking of, word is they’ve had a space force since 2014 (if not sooner). From The Diplomat in ’14:

China has created a fifth branch of the People’s Liberation Army devoted to space operations, a Japanese newspaper is reporting.

Xi Jinping, President of the People’s Republic of China, urged military officers “to speed up air and space integration and sharpen their offensive and defensive capabilities.” He also called for the creation of a “new type of combat unit” dedicated to this purpose.

As a once-enlisted Marine who got out at a low rank, trust my expertise when I tell you: future wars will be fought in the cyber-world, in space & more with drones than people. Wake up, SHEEPLE.

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4) Who doesn’t love a good ‘ol fashioned space race? I’ve been told it made the 60s & 70s very exciting.

5) I want in. My blogs would be way more interesting, and you know the uniform is going to be sick. And if you’re a space soldier your street cred is off the charts. Can you imagine the tail you can reel in?

“I know we just met, but I’m… off to outerspace in the morning… Not sure if I’ll make it back, so I can’t promise you anything, except that whenever you look at the stars, I’ll be there <3.
So.. just throwing it out there, since all we have is now, maybe you could please for the love of God try to find the mythical clitoris instead of trying to skill-lessly (finger) blast me off into another world..."

Eh, I got a little carried away there, but you get what I mean. It’s an exciting prospect. Trump, if you need someone for a Star Trek, I will astro-NOT let you down. Heyyyo!

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