The Abhorrent United Airlines Deprives Economy Fliers Of Delicious Stroopwafels And We Will #Resist

I dont know what the rest of that article says because I’ll never click on a link that isnt Barstool Sports. I made that promise to Dave when I got hired and I intend on keeping it. If this is true, I’m done flying United Economy (Plus). I would never fly normal economy. I value dick room. Plus, they treat you like cattle back there. Group 3-5? Couldnt be me.

One of the perks of my monthlyish flight to New York is that I get to enjoy Stroopwafels first thing in the morning. I fire up the ole blogging machine and get to typing while the creamy goodness of the soft stroopwafel slides down my gullet. A smile comes over my face and I come over my waistband. Those things are delicious and can be a sexual experience if you play your cards right.

If this news is true, I will give up my frequent flier miles and move my allegiance to another airline. That is all. You have one hour.

Note to frontier and Spirit: Dont even bother.