Geoffrey The Giraffe Getting Knocked Out Of A Wrestling Match With An Amazon Prime Box Is Great Storytelling

Ugh. I hate that Geoffrey the Giraffe is so strapped for cash that he’s doing underground wrestling matches now. That felt like watching a once-promising beauty queen turn tricks behind a Taco Bell. With that said, that’s just great storytelling. Whoever raised their hand in the writer’s room and said, “We should knock Geoffrey outta the ring with an Amazon Prime box” deserves an award. You just don’t see that level of writing everyday. Shakespeare. Hemingway. Joyce. That Guy. I imagine Geoffrey didn’t love the suggestion and likely had to be held back from physically assaulting the guy who said it cause that wound is still very fresh. But it’s not like Geoffrey could say no to the money. Whatever giraffes eat isn’t going to put itself on the table. This is his life now that he’s a washed up toy dealer.

It was only merely a couple weeks ago when this ultra-sad picture came across our timelines

And now Geoffrey is already being used as the punchline during low-level wrestling matches. Getting clubbed in the back of the head with the box that murdered his career. Very sad. Life comes at you fast when you don’t adapt to the arrival of the internet and Jeff Bezos takes over the world in the blink of an eye. Here’s to hoping Geoffrey can find some steady work at a local zoo or picking apples so he doesn’t have to subject himself to such an embarrassing display night after night just to make a buck.