How Crazy Is This Dude Who Hopped The Fence At The Zoo And Spanked A Hippo?

What a maniac! You couldn’t pay me enough to do that. Especially with hippo headlines like this making the internet rounds recently

Hippos will kill you dead and not think twice about it. They’ll rip you limb from limb and continue about their day like they just drank a glass of water. That’s certainly the case when you decide to slap a hippo on the ass. We all have an innocent version of hippos in our heads due to the popularity of Hungry Hungry Hippos game but the reality is that hippos are death machines.

I have to admit though, the sound the spank made was laugh out loud funny. The spank was so pure that the hippo might’ve enjoyed it a little bit. Just a tad. Everybody enjoys a nice slap on the booty from time to time. If you say you don’t, you’re a bold faced liar. That was probably the first time the hippo had ever got a solid slap to the bum. I get that it was fucked up for that guy to do it but has the hippo come forward and said he/she didn’t like it? Exactly.

The zoo released a statement about the incident:

“We seriously feel this was an isolated incident,” April Spurlock, a zoo spokeswoman, told the paper. “Most people know not to go in with the animals. It’s common sense.”

That sounds about right. Most people know you shouldn’t go around spanking hippos ate the zoo. Lesson learned.