Keith Hernandez Said That The Marlins Were Right To Hit Ronald Acuna Jr. Because He Was The Hottest Player On The Planet

So Keith Hernandez did what Keith Hernandez usually does during baseball season and announced a baseball game while bringing up what the game was like when he played in the 80s. Whether you agree with what he says or not, that’s just what he does. He’s Keith Hernandez.

Now I’m not saying I agree with Keith. Quite the opposite. I agree with what Carrabis said last night and think throwing at a guy with intent because he has ran train on your team is bullshit. Pitch inside so he has to back off the plate or whatever. But the fact remains that if you were killing a team back in Keith’s day, you would wear one on your back or your ass. Excuse me, your fanny. The fact Keith said “fanny” is proof how dated his brain is and everything he says should come with a Potential Old Man Yelling At A Cloud warning.

Here is Exhibit B of someone like that:

And Exhibit C of someone who follows baseball rules that are not actually written down:

If you ARE going to hit someone for hitting a bomb off of you, throw at their ass

Never at their head

The fact of the matter is if Jose Urena actually hit Acuna in the fanny ass, Baseball Twitter wouldn’t have wore yesterday’s Twitter Outrage Crown. From Kyle Sandy asking Braves fans to drag Keith, to people clowning Keith for getting heavier and older.

Now as a fat washed up old man, I AM TRIGGERED. Just kidding, I don’t give a fuck. There are already enough mad people online.

Even the Braves Twitter account was subtweeting the Marlins throughout the game (2 point deduction for not @’ing the Marlins though)

Thankfully nobody on the Marlins wore a t-shirt during batting practice or else the Braves announcers would have had to jump into this Royal Rumble of baseball etiquette.

As usual, Coley Mick gave the most level-headed and correct solution of the night.