Did A-Rod Get Cucked By Shawn Mendes At Last Night's VMA's?

Listen, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking the only reason that I’m writing this blog is because I have it in my head that Shawn will read this and we’ll fall in love. He’ll finally come out of the closet and we’ll start our lives together as America’s sweethearts. Raising Bichon Frise puppies in our Jarret Yoshida-designed Chelsea apartment, with a set of male/female Aryan twins just like Neil Patrick Harris…but you’re wrong. The reason I’m writing this is because Shawn Mendes may or may not have cucked A Rod last night. I mean yeah, A-Rod looks like a fifth-grade boy seeing a pair of tits for the first time.

And yeah, J Lo is the original big booty. And yeah, she called him macho during her acceptance speech.

But none of that matters. Look at the similarities in their performances. It’s like they planned them out together.

Both of them performed in the rain, in an incredibly effeminate manner, much to the pleasure of gay men around the world. Shawn was singing directly to her. If I’m A-Rod I’m worried.  Shawn would be the perfect excuse for her to get out of her relationship with Alex and upgrade to a younger guy. She’s done it before. It’s not like he hasn’t laid the ground work. Shawn’s been working on her since 2011.

She’d be the perfect beard. He may have money, but Shawn has the youth. Is this whole thing a stretch? Probably, but I wouldn’t be surprised if something came of this in the next few years. She’s definitely going to be thinking of him till at least the end of the week.