Lil Xan, A Rapper Named After His Xanax Addiction, Bought Marijuana Gifts For Billy Ray Cyrus' Birthday Because He's Dating His 18-Year-Old Daughter

NY PostBilly Ray Cyrus has some high times ahead of him.

The singer’s daughter Noah Cyrus and her boyfriend, the rapper Lil Xan, gave Billy Ray a bong and pre-rolled joints for his 57th birthday.

“Had to get dad a present ya dig ! Happy B Day @billyraycyrus,” Lil Xan captioned a photo of the guys holding up the bong and joints. 

Noah and Lil Xan, who confirmed their relationship earlier this month, may have also gotten Billy Ray marijuana, as the photo shows a large vial of pot between the “Achy Breaky Heart” singer’s legs.

I started reading this story from a place of complete ignorance. It felt like day 1 of Rosetta Stone: Generation Z, which is the generation after millennials. With each new fact, I leaned a little closer to my screen in disbelief. First, you’ve got a kid named Lil Xan whose name stems from his love of Xanax. He then became completely addicted to Xanax, cleaned up, and now speaks out against the perils of Xanax abuse. However, he continues to go by the name “Lil Xan,” which, again, is short for “little Xanax.” It’s sort of like when a woman in an abusive relationship finally divorces her husband, starts a battered women’s clinic, but keeps her husband’s name because… uhm… there’s no way to finish this analogy because it doesn’t make any sense. Just like Lil Xan.

This kid’s face is COVERED in tattoos.

I don’t know much about having a daughter, but I can tell you that if my 18-year-old baby girl introduced me to her new boyfriend and he had “soldier” inked on his cheek, I’d laugh my ass off and then lock him out of the house. Especially if he hadn’t served in the military.

He’s also only posted 9 photos on his Instagram and yet he has 4.7 million followers. The mind reels.

He captioned his birthday post to Billy Ray Cyrus with “Had to get dad a present, ya dig?” He called Billy Ray Cyrus– a country LEGEND– dad. How presumptuous! How audacious! You can’t do that until you’re fucking married and even then it’s weird as shit. Who knows, maybe Lil Xan doesn’t know his dad so Billy told him to call him dad and they’ve got that strange orphan-adoptive father thing going on. Tough dynamic to keep steady given that he’s dating his new father’s daughter, aka his sister…

In fairness, I listened to one of Lil Xan’s songs. This one:

I didn’t hate it. It’s not my thing but I can understand its appeal to the younger generation. Nobody has a clue what he’s saying but you can tell that he doesn’t care. And that’s the point, right? You know who cared? Eminem. Dude was furious all the time and as kids, we liked that. These new kids are buying indifference in bulk and tossing out boxes of concern. I guess a guy named after Xanax is the perfect mascot for that movement…