We're About to Get North America's First Sexbot Brothel

Fembots

Source - Soon, interested patrons will be able to fuck around with a sex doll in a Toronto shopping mall. As (female) sex dolls become increasingly lifelike, it’s no surprise that companies want to recreate the brothel, replacing the job of human sex workers with the ultra-realistic silicone replicas.

Aura Dolls, the company behind the “brothel,” states on its website that its “vision is to bring you an exciting new way to achieve your needs without the many restrictions and limitations that a real partner may come with.”

The business is slated to open on September 8 at an address disclosed during the booking process. It currently allows customers to select from six female dolls, which each have a comprehensive profile. The dolls are all “aged” from 21 to 24-years-old and include details on their ethnicity, hair and eye color, their curves and their figure. Each profile also notes that their breasts are “natural.” The profiles certainly aim to exude a sense of human-like qualities, such as penchants and jealousy.

Well it’s about time. I mean, for sure I’m surprised a mall in Toronto beat us to the punch because this sounds like an idea tailor made for a dozen U.S. places like Vegas, Oakland, Florida, New Orleans. Really any place where the Law of the Land is guilt-free, loveless debauchery. But regardless of who got their first, this is an idea that is long overdue.

It’s about time somebody did something nice like this for our Socially Inept population. Guys who couldn’t get it in a women’s prison with a briefcase full of cash and signed pardons. For too long we’ve been forcing these pathetic, unwanted souls into the shadows. Or musty old whore houses, their walls painted with DNA and the stench of cheap perfume, rancid butthole and despair pervading the air.

Well they have to settle for awkward sex with women with crippling daddy issues no more, thanks to the work of our finest engineers and software designers. They won’t have to look into the eyes of their fellow being and feel one another’s reflected failures ever again. They can have good, clean, pre-programmed electric sex, without human contact of any kind. Granted, I feel bad for the teenage runaways who’ll be missing out on an hour of honest work, but that’s progress for you. My only other concern is that the people of Toronto keep their kids away from that mall at all costs. And that management bring in a HazMat crew the second this thing shuts down because it’s going to be a Petri dish in there. Beyond that, happy hunting, gents. Go git some.