Chaos At 35,000 Feet! American Airlines Asks Passengers To Pee In Bags And Bottles Because The Toilet Was Clogged

Usually the internet sees a story like this and puts the offending airline in a blender immediately just because everyone hates airlines and flying.

HOWEVAH, I will do no such thing for a number of reasons. One, I have to admit that American Airlines turning Riggs into a raving lunatic whenever he flies the friendly skies with them is hilarious.

If Office Manager Brett Spider has as sense of humor, he will continue to book Riggs on American Airline whenever he is boondoggling and allow that rivalry to grow. The fact they AA’s Twitter handle is throwing government names around means they are truly ready to go into the mud.

But the other reason I will defend American Airlines is what the fuck were they supposed to do? Just because we have TVs, WiFi, and a delightful array of snacks on airplanes in 2018 doesn’t mean that the toilets have evolved at the same rate. They are still the same basic model that Thomas Crapper (lol) invented more than 150 years ago. If they are full or get clogged, you have to piss in something else or cross your legs and pray. That simple. American was actually being generous by offering this lady a bag that could easily hold gallons of piss. I bet the guys that pissed in bottles had to make due with small mouth water bottles, which can be uncomfortable and messy, instead of Gatorade bottles with wide mouths. And forget about people just pissing on the floor because we all remember how everyone freaked the fuck out when that lady pissed on the floor of her Wizz Airlines flight (again lol) because the bathrooms on her plane were closed before takeoff.

The fact we even have toilets on flying tin cans racing across the sky at hundreds of miles per hour is a luxury. Sure it would be nice if they could just open the hatch and dump everything in the shitter over whatever flyover state you were currently zooming over. But since everyone loves complaining on the internet, we would see 100 people that look like Trent covered in that blue toilet sludge from Utah to Indiana. I hate to take the side of Big Air, but I don’t see anything else they could have done.

*I will admit that I don’t know anything about UTIs or how the plumbing works for people with lady parts, but this just seems like a whole lot of hullaballoo because it’s 2018 and everyone loves using their phone’s video camera