ALL HANDS ON DECK: Alexis Ren Had A WARDROBE MALFUNCTION On Dancing With The Stars #DWTS

[Editor’s Note: This is solely a Clickbate Smits production. All about the content, pageviews, and jokes!]

OMG OMG OMG! Stay calm, people! STAY CALM DAMMIT!!! We’ve trained for an emergency situation like this! Alexis Ren! Wardrobe malfunction! #DWTS! THIS IS THE PAGEVIEWS APOCALYPSE!!!!!

Deep breaths, everyone. Deep breaths, Let’s take a look at the wardrobe malfunction which occurs at :23 of the tango:

Good Housekeeping (seriously) – Model Alexis Ren and pro Alan Berstein took on the tango to “Swan Lake” during Monday night’s episode of Dancing With the Stars. And though Ren is a trained ballerina, it was her tutu that tripped her up during the performance. Their routine began with some ballet-inspired moves, which makes sense given Ren’s background. But then, as the music reached a climactic moment, Berstein went to take off Ren’s tutu — and it wouldn’t budge. It took the two a few seconds to make the wardrobe transition work, and once it did, her dress transitioned into a slinky, sparkly number and they moved into a more traditional tango. “The tutu wouldn’t come off!” Ren complained before judging began. “It just didn’t want to come off.” “I know, we had a stubborn tutu incident there,” host Tom Bergeron said. But the judges didn’t seem too hung up on the wardrobe malfunction. “The tutu got stuck, but never mind. You were Prima Argentina,” judge Bruno Tonioli said. “The lift and the wardrobe, not so great,” judge Carrie Ann Inaba noted. “Everything else was stunning.” She received scores of 8, 9, and 8, with a total of 25 out of 30.

Oh, WOW! Alexis Ren literally had a “Wardrobe Malfunction” that resulted in her tutu staying ON. It was supposed to come OFF and expose her BREASTS but it didn’t! Gazooks! We all associate “Wardrobe Malfunction” with nudity and BOOBIES bc of the famous Janet Jackson Super Bowl halftime TIT SLIP, but the exact opposite happened within the same context! Amazing! H/T to Good Housekeeping of all places with the cocktease clickbait trick from the HEAVENS! Doggoneit I respect it!

Thank the Pageviews Gods Alexis Ren is in the news somehow bc her IG page has been SLUMPING as of late. Doesn’t Alexis know that desperate bloggers need those desperate clicks? We’re just doing what we have to do not only survive, but let our coworkers know how much better we are than them bc we can get PAGEVIEWS!