The List Of The World's Most Powerful Passports Came Out, And America Is Tied For FIFTH With Like 100 Bullshit Countries

CNN- According to the Henley Passport Index, compiled by global citizenship and residence advisory firm Henley & PartnersCitizens, Japan now has the most powerful passport on the planet.

Having gained visa-free access to Myanmar earlier this month, Japanese citizens can now enjoy visa-free or visa-on-arrival access to a whopping 190 destinations around the world — knocking Singapore, with 189 destinations, into second place.

Germany, which began 2018 in the top spot, is now in third place with 188 destinations, tied with France and South Korea.

The United States and the UK, both with visa-free or visa-on-arrival access to 186 destinations, are in fifth place. With neither having gained entry to any new jurisdictions this year, it seems unlikely that either will soon reclaim the No.1 spot they held in 2015.

Russia has fallen to 47th position, despite having received a boost in September when Taiwan announced a visa-waiver for Russian nationals.

Japan is officially the most powerful passport in the world. Fuck me sideways. And that’s not a racist jab at sideways vaginas, it’s just a saying I heard recently that makes me laugh. The Japanese can travel to 190 countries without a visa. That means 190 countries trust the Japanese so inherently that they don’t need any kind of special permission to come in. Second is Singapore, which I get–they don’t have any enemies (losers). America is in FIFTH, with 186 countries. That means there are 4 countries that will accept the Japanese without a visa that WON’T accept Americans. And that makes my blood boil.

Here’s where the Japanese can go without a visa that we can’t: China, Gambia, Iran, and Namibia. I can understand Iran and I don’t care about Gambia and Namibia. But China? Are you fucking kidding? Historically, you guys HATED the Japanese! What happened, did you mend fences? Jesus. I hate it when people work out their differences.

At least Russia is 47th. Haha that’s really weak, guys. Nobody trusts you! Nor should they. Sneaky Russians. Always poisoning people lol.

By the way– I just got global entry. Crushed my interview. It not only gives you TSA pre-check, but also lets you fly through customs when you get back from traveling to another country. I couldn’t wait for the benefits. Figured I could jog past JFK customs officials with my souvenir AK-47 that I picked up poking out of my carry-on, alongside an entire petting zoo of baby farm animals infested with foreign parasites. The agents would simply nod their heads, seeing that I was a member of the global entry elite. Like some Manhattan socialite kid who grew up going to nightclubs, calls every nightclub door man “a good friend,” and kisses men on both cheeks as he sashays by in a kimono.

Boy was I wrong. Doesn’t seem to do shit. Came back from England through Dublin and had to do USA pre-clearance at the Dublin airport. Nobody gave a fuck about global entry there. Waited in line like a stupid bitch. What a waste of paperwork.