LaMelo Ball Turned Some Poor Russian Kid's Ankles To Rubble Over The Weekend

I’ll admit that it’s been hard waving the BBB flag at times over the last few months. From Lonzo not being able to hit the broad side of a barn from the field (.360), three (.305), or free throw line (.451!!!) to LiAngelo not getting drafted AND his Summer League invitation getting lost in the mail to The Big Baller himself (allegedly) getting caught flying coach.

But it’s nice to see that Melo is finally restoring the good Ball name and reminding everyone that he was a stud high school player before being sent to Lithuania and being the headliner for the basketball league his dad started.

*Rereads the 2nd half of the last sentence*

Holy fuck it has been a wild year for the Ball family.

Now I know some people will dismiss this ankle shattering because the kid was Russian. But last I checked, dominating Russians is the best thing an American can do. It doesn’t matter if it’s on the hardwood, the ice, or the battlefield. LaMelo Ball is out repping the stars and stripes against what I imagine is a team of Ivan Drago motherfuckers that Putin himself engineered since they were fetuses to take home the hoops gold medal in 2024. If you can’t get down with LaMelo Ball taking down one of Putin’s pawns because Melo’s dad likes to talk shit, you might as well pack up your shit and move to Moscow before WW III inevitably pops off.