I Returned To My Unbiased Journalistic Position On Press Row For Bellator 208 This Weekend

Uniondale, NY- After a bit of a hectic last week, half spent on the run from the Russian mob, and half spent executively directing support as part of the Champ Champ’s camp, I returned to my unbiased journalistic position on press row this weekend for Bellator 208, and I brought my pal Trent with me. In this blog, I’ll detail our experience, mostly just from my point of view, as Trent’s is way different as a novice mixed martial arts fan, just now becoming invested in the sport (almost forcibly by being my roommate, MMA’s sorta unescapable in our household) and he may have his own blog cookin’, but before I do, I wanted to just share with you guys this blog I was pretty proud of from a little over a year ago.

I’ll be honest – I’ve got no idea if that blog holds up (I’m not gonna re-read it because I hate re-reading my own stuff – ESPECIALLY if some time has gone by), but that’s one of the first blogs I ever wrote that got a ton of praise from my coworkers and Stoolies alike, and it’s a recap of my first night as a credentialed “journalist” ever, from the last Bellator event I attended, so it should serve as a decent enough prequel to this post. Key word: should.

To begin, we gotta bring this back about 24 hours prior to the event itself for just a second. I was sitting on my couch, watching Bellator 207 with Trent, who – like I said – isn’t a HUGE mixed martial arts fan, but enjoys watching the sport when it’s on – which is pretty damn often…so I asked him if he’d like to sit cageside with me as credentialed media that next night at 208, and shot my contacts at Bellator a quick message asking if it’d be too much trouble to add him to the list. Both parties complied damn near immediately, and we were in business!

(When I said “for just a second”, I meant it, we’re onto Bellator 208 day now!)

We departed the city mid-afternoon, SUPER early for the event, but with one thing in mind: Borrelli’s.

I had never been to Borrelli’s before this weekend, only heard the legends and tales about the establishment. Trent had been once before, and we both agreed – Bellator 208 was gonna be great, but Borrelli’s was probably gonna be the true main event. Right away, we were seated by Frankie’s infamous “grudger”, and visited by the man himself, Mr. Borrell, who brought over a pizza for us to review on the One Bite app. We figured, “What better opportunity than for Mr. Borrelli to get on the ones and twos, taking after his son, for the very first time?!”

In hindsight, we should’ve spent a lot more time teaching Mr. Borrelli how to work my phone, but I sorta think the finished product added to the charm of it all, so I’m happy with it. I was also VERY happy with the slice, which reminded me of a thicker John’s of Times Square – my favorite pizza in the city. No bullshit though, not just saying it for Frankie, or Mr. Borrelli…all of the food was legit excellent. It was the best dinner I’ve had in forever. Chicken Parm to die for.

Mr. Borrelli then took it upon himself to drive us over to the arena, telling stories about Joe Namath and Patrick Ewing coming in to Borrelli’s back in the day, practically making me wish he were my dad…but unfortunately, no tears were shed. It was the only piece missing from hitting the Borrelli Cycle.

At the Coliseum, we checked in as media, started flashin’ our passes like we were Wayne and Garth…

…and found our seats. Which were here:

A couple media members who have taken unprovoked shots and threatened violence upon myself were slated to be seated next to us, but unfortunately, they couldn’t make it. Such a shame, being how much I was looking forward to meeting them in person. Maybe one day they’ll show up to work and our paths will cross!

As the early-prelims start, one thing became very clear: Trent was not good at not reacting to people getting punched in the face.

Fuckin’ Metro Boomin was sitting next to me and he had no clue that he was supposed to be a professional for the night. I didn’t really give a fuck though.

He does have this move where he sorta just hugs the nearest person in sight when he sees a fighter get hurt, and that’s adorable, however. He even does it for big Rough N Rowdy moments!

Here’s what KFC wrote about that clip…

Trent hugging Keith was the highlight of this video for me. Its so pure and genuine. Big Daddy doing Big Daddy things – when trouble is afoot just hug somebody. Oh no something is wrong HOLD ME!

A couple bouts went by, mostly featuring local fighters and pro debuts, and produced some fantastic moments.

During Shaquan Moore vs David Meshkhoradze, a double pro-debut bout, Meshkhoradze got hit with a shot, threw on an Obama “Not bad!” face, letting his opponent know he got hit preeettttttay hard, and then he just stopped fighting until he got viciously dropped.

Never seen anything like it. He did go on to win the fight, though, so things certainly could’ve gone worse for him.

In the next fight – again a double pro-debut – we saw another peculiar sequence, where Strawweight Jessica Ruiz IMMEDIATELY realized she wasn’t cut out for professional MMA and tried to call a time out the first time she got hit.

That’s tough, but I get it! I thought I wanted to be a professional wrestler when I was in high school, took a couple bumps, and same thing happened. Just nope’d right on outta there. Jennifer Chieng does seem a beast though, and she was cornered by my girl Katlyn Chookagian, so you know she’s got great peers around her to launch this dream into a career. Definitely be on the lookout for her coming up.

A friend of mine from Bellator then came over to Trent and I after this fight, and said they had something for us to take a picture with. I figured maybe it’ll be a Bellator Championship, maybe some kind of Grand Prix trophy, something like that – but I couldn’t have been more wrong.

In front of me was dropped the Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory – right onto the table in front of me – and my breath was truly taken away. It was very difficult to explain to Trent why being in the presence of this fairly generic sweater almost brought me to tears, but I didn’t even care. I was just honored. And you know what?! Bad boy’s got elbow pads! Never knew that!

If you’re staring at this blog perplexed right now, wondering if you’re reading things correctly, that I was worked up over a god damn sweater, just watch this video…

That should explain some things.

Then, just as I started to catch my breath, my colleague lost his. 50 Cent arrived, and the everyone in the building pretty much reacted like the Pope walked in.

Fiddy was briefly shown on the screen, as he’s now pretty involved with Bellator as a business partner of the promotion, and Trent very nobly attempted to get a standing ovation going for the living legend, but didn’t quite get everyone in the arena on their feet. In fact, it was just Trent. Trent was the only one standing.

Some fights went by, and before we knew it, the main card had begun!

Some fucking crazy Russians – Alexander Shlemenko and Anatoly Tokov – went at it in the second bout of the television slate, and I gotta tell ya…it was amazing not to have a dog in a fight involving scary Russians. These guys just beat the shit out of each other for three straight rounds and there I sat, surrounded by Russian media, with no target on my back! I was just happy the Russians were having fun in there, man! It was great!

Cheick Kongo wound up upsetting Timothy Johnson and shocking the world with a 68-second KO in the year of our lord 2018 up next, and nobody was mad about that one bit.

This one happened right in front of us and let me tell ya – hearing heavyweight bodies hit the canvas after they’ve been dropped is never not terrifying. Trent did the hug thing again because I think he was scared too. He was ok though, don’t worry.

At this point in the night, something magical happened.

I was chatting about the fights with Trent and my closest friend at Bellator when Coach John Kavanagh (head coach of Conor McGregor/Straight Blast Gym Dublin) strolled by right behind us. My eyes lit up, even brighter than they did after seeing Fedor’s sweater, and my man Danny (shoutout Danny) made the connection, and got the attention of Kavanagh.

As he walked towards me, there was a clear switch in his brain that flipped when he realized who I was. I think maybe seeing me without a backwards hat might’ve been a bit jarring or something, but when Coach put everything together, he extended his hand out, and said “Robbie! Long time coming!”

I melted.

He asked about Barstool for a bit, told me I had “a bit of an unusual thing going on” with my pro-McGregor schtick, and then he thanked me, and informed me that the team “really gets a kick out of it all” while they’re on private planes and whatnot traveling the globe with the Champ Champ.

I suppose with how close I’ve gotten to the team, and how much they’ve embraced me and the content I’ve been doing, I shouldn’t have been blown away by the fact that they’re watching the shit I do…but when it was verbalized by a man I’ve looked up to for many, many, years now…and he’s thanking me…that’s just something you can’t prepare for. It was a truly surreal moment in my life that I haven’t stopped thinking about since it happened.

We snagged a photo together – and another, after Kavanagh decided the first wasn’t good enough and that we should take one where it appears I’m a fighter and he’s in my corner – something I happily obliged to. Obviously.

When I came back down to earth, it was time for the co-main event of the evening: Benson Henderson vs Saad Awad.

Prior to Saturday night, Henderson was 2-3 since making the jump from the UFC to Bellator, making this an almost “MUST WIN” fight for him, and a Henderson of old showed up.

I saw more drive and more will-to-win from Henderson in this fight than I’ve seen from him in a long time. Sure, he committed some fouls along the way, but this is the guy who’s famous for sneaking toothpicks into his mouth in the octagon we’re talking about, so who gives a fook. Bendo looked great in there, both in his fighting and in his attire…

…and that’s MORE than I was asking from him coming into Bellator 208, so I was very happy with his entire performance.

I heard a bit of a commotion behind us as Henderson was being announced the winner of the co-main event, and turned around to see Royce Gracie speaking with some fans about 2 inches from my face. I wasn’t gonna bother him, because plenty of other folk already were, but I was awestruck for sure. That’s a living legend right there. Some dude in the crowd yelled out to Trent, and Trent turned around, and the guy goes, “GET ROYCE FOR ME!” and Trent yelled back “I AIN’T TOUCHING THAT GUY!”, which I found hilarious.

Finally, the time had come for the MAIN EVENT. The semi-finals of Bellator’s Heavyweight Grand Prix, where the winner would go on to face Ryan Bader for the Bellator Heavyweight Championship of the World in January. The American Gangster vs The Last Emperor.

Chael Sonnen vs Fedor Emelianenko.

Fedor’s entrance was arguably the most electric moment of the entire event. Bells tolled, the arena went dark, and his terrifying Russian walkout song blared throughout Long Island. Chael’s was okay, but certainly not unforgettable, like Fedor’s – but this fight certainly had that “big fight feel” regardless, and it delivered, big time.

Fedor dropped Chael with the first punch he threw, and then with about a hundred after that. It honestly seemed like Chael got dropped by every punch Fedor hit him with, and that Fedor just had the touch of death. At the same time, Sonnen was somehow surviving, getting back to his feet, and actually finding some success in taking the big man down! Until, of course, Fedor big-brothered him with that crazy Russian sambo training…

In the four minutes and some change this fight lasted, there had to be a handful of moments FOR EACH FIGHTER where I thought it was over, and it just wasn’t! Like, this, for example:

That’s a finishing position! You wrap your forearm around that throat and squeeze, and the fight’s over. But Chael attempts one of these…

…and it’s all over.

This was just a sloppy ass dogfight in the absolute best way possible, and I loved every second of it. Former Heavyweight, and current Slim Daddy Trent did as well…

…and with that, our night came to an end!

Backstage, Fedor gifted Sonnen the tracksuit he walked out wearing as a sign of respect, which I found AWESOME, and The Last Emperor will now challenge Bellator Light Heavyweight Champion Ryan Bader for the Bellator Heavyweight Championship of the World on January 26th.

If he winds up taking that one, too…

I mean…I wouldn’t even know how I’d react. That’d be some true GOAT shit.

Chael’s gonna be just fine, as well, because this was part of the plan all along.

And that is The Bad Guy for ya. One step ahead, at all times.

Thank you to Bellator for putting on such a great event and allowing us to cover it, thanks to Mr. Borrelli for the food, and thanks to you guys for following along.

Signing off – from Long Island.