The Warriors Stunted On The Rest Of The NBA By Making The First Ever Reversible Championship Rings

Those are….cool? I guess? To be honest, championship rings are like babies to me. If they are mine (or won be a team I root for), it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. I can still tear up just thinking about the Giants rings from Super Bowl XLII. But if it’s someone else’s, I can admire that it’s nice and all. But these days everything is such an orgy of jewels that is so high above my common blogger tastes, I can’t get too excited about it

The stuff I love are the shots teams take at their opponents with their ring design. I guess the bristle texture because the Finals were a sweep was a decent zing at LeBron and the Cavs. But I would have liked something more obvious, like having one of the diamonds in each ring facing the wrong way to symbolize J.R. Smith’s rebound at the end of regulation of Game 1 or some shit. And while I acknowledge being the first team with a reversible championship ring is a cool idea, hiding half of your jewels while treating your ring like a practice pinny seems silly to me. There are probably odds in the locker room who will lose the top half of their ring first: JaVale McGee or Swaggy P.

If I were in charge of the rings, I would have paid homage to a great Warrior from the past and made those rings spin in the mold of the old school Sprewell rims. Everybody loved when things spun. Rims, the WWE championship belt, sneakers. They Dubs could have brought that weird time from the mid-2000s back and it would have been awesome. Then again, the Warriors will probably be designing next year’s rings as well because they ruined the NBA (just kidding, the NBA is fucking awesome no matter how good the Warriors are).

Also, while I hate to bring it up, it has to be said that the Warriors should be ashamed of themselves for using Steph Curry’s ring in these tweets instead of the reigning back-to-back NBA Finals MVP. It’s sad to see that a franchise like Golden State disrespect someone like Kevin Durant, whose greatness was at its zenith on the NBA’s biggest stage. Hopefully Kevin finds a franchise that would love and cherish him as much as the Warriors seem to love and cherish Steph Curry. I bet going to a big market with crazy fans, many of whom haven’t seen a championship in their lifetime, would do the trick.