Monday Homestretch

Large10/22/2018 6:45 PM

Investors will get their first look at third-quarter GDP numbers on Friday morning, but as you are all well aware, earnings will be the main focus for the rest of this month and through the beginning of November.

A third of the S&P 500 companies across all 11 sectors are set to report this week, including several businesses hurt by Trump’s tariffs, such as Whirlpool (down 37% YTD), Harley-Davidson, Colgate, Ford, and Caterpillar.

Barstool Finance’s Earnings Calendar (for the week ending 10/26)
Monday — TD Ameritrade (AMTD), Sallie Mae (SLM) after close today
Tuesday — 3M (MMM), JetBlue (JBLU), Six Flags (SIX), McDonald’s (MCD), Sprint (S), Las Vegas Sands (LVS), Caterpillar (CAT), CA Technologies (CA), Lockheed Martin (LMT), Verizon (VZ), Harley-Davidson (HOG)
Wednesday — Aflac (AFL), Build-A-Bear (BBW), Allegiant Travel (ALGT), AT&T (T), Baidu (BIDU), Boeing (BA), Callaway Golf (ELY), Xerox (XRX), Visa (V), Ford (F), Microsoft (MSFT), SiriusXM (SIRI), Whirlpool (WHR), Wynn (WYNN)
Thursday — Alphabet (GOOGL), Amazon (AMZN), Altria (MO), Ally Financial (ALLY), American Airlines (AAL), Alaska Air Group (ALK), Southwest (LUV), AK Steel (AKS), Spirit (SAVE), Dunkin’ Brands (DNKN), Boyd Gaming (BYD), Stanley Black & Decker (SWK), Sherwin-Williams (SHW), Merck & Co. (MRK), Hershey (HSY), GrubHub (GRUB), Snap Inc. (SNAP)
Friday — Colgate-Palmolive (C) and Charter Communications (CHTR)

Today, markets are mixed. The Dow and S&P both marginally lower while the NASDAQ has outperformed in front of earnings and in sympathy with strength in China. China’s battered stock market had its best day in more than two and a half years on Monday… Asian tech companies were among the top beneficiaries after senior government officials pledged new support measures for their struggling financial markets, and the tech-heavy Shenzhen Composite added nearly 5%.

Today’s rally is just a temporary zipper closing over Chinese financial markets’ metaphorical lab-coat, but it’s better than nothing.

Moving on… I am going to mention real quick a conversation I had this weekend with a group of guys on a sideline watching a flag football game…

I had recently seen the new Halloween flick, and I was reporting back on how terrible Jamie Lee Curtis* looked in the movie.

One of the creepier dads had decided to add his 2 cents saying he would still “fuck the shit out of her.”

To which I replied, “Would you lay down a tarp first?”

My mention of the tarp immediately turned everyone’s focus away from the benign phrase “fuck the shit out of her” to my more literal translation. And all the dads became disgusted at the thought… Except for the German guy… He seemed visibly excited at the mere mention of sheissen.

Fucking Germans, amirite?

Now, this is not the hill I choose to die on, but I would be all-for retiring the term “fucking the shit out of someone.” Ever since I decided to take it literally, I have been trying to impart that literal translation to others by using the“tarp” comment whenever I can.

I will concede “bang the snot out of” or “screw the piss out of”, but the whole “shit” thing has gotta go.

I am sure the phrase “fornicate the vomit out of that young maiden” was once part of the vernacular in Medieval times, but more civilized ears eventually prevailed. I think we, as a society, should do the same for shit-related sexual references starting today.

Please visit my gofundme page, and help me get the word out.

Thanks in advance.

Cleaning out a couple pictures… You ever get your balls caught in your zipper?

Imagine what gets caught in here?… Ooof!