Thursday Homestretch/I HATE NY/SexyWawa

With all this talk of suspicious packages being shipped to Democrats of note, I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my buddy Jim for dropping off a mysterious package to my house this morning… Which sounds kind of sexual and gay as I read that out loud.

But the “package” Jimmy dropped wasn’t sexual at all.

Unbeknownst to me, his wife was in Brooklyn last night and picked me up a quart of spumoni from one of my old haunts, L&B Spumoni Gardens.

She kept it in her freezer all night and then had him swing by my house with it around 8:30 this morning.

And unlike the dud explosives left for De Niro, Jimmy’s “package” went off in my mouth by 8:45 AM, I swallowed it whole, and now I have an overwhelming feeling of embarrassment and regret.

Man… That sounded gay and sexual, also.  Either I am really fat, or maybe I really want to bang Jimmy?

College Football – Notre Dame announced today that they would be changing the venue for their 2020 game vs Navy from the Meadowlands to Aviva Stadium in Dublin, Ireland.

Out of all the “location games” played by either college or NFL teams, this one makes the most sense as almost all of Notre Dame’s starting lineup is either from Ireland or are first generation Irish-Americans.

Similarly, Alabama will be playing the Air Force Academy in Nyayo National Stadium, Nairobi that same season, and Rutgers will be playing Don Bosco Prep in the parking lot behind the Wawa in Lodi.

By the way, there is a website called “sexywawa.com“, and it is an online Malaysian sex shop…

I will save you the keystrokes…

There is even a “Plus Size” section, apparently for anyone over 125 pounds… Malaysia is awesome.

Back to ND/Navy 2020- The game will be played on August 29, 2020, which is during the mysteriously-named “Week Zero” for college football, and as a result, ND will have an extra BYE week during the 2020 season.

I am old enough to say that I was actually at the first game where the Irish played amongst the Irish… When ND played Navy in Croke Park, Dublin in 1996.

And I am also old enough to barely remember many of the details, except that the city of Dublin ran out of ice that weekend after so many filthy Americans invaded local pubs demanding their beer be served colder than the room-temps those feculent Micks are accustomed to.

I HATE NY – I don’t have much to say about this guy standing beside my sister, but a reader spotted him on the platform yesterday and immediately shot me a pic…

Who the fuck wears a red windbreaker with a green baseball cap?… I fucking HATE NY.

Take a report.

-Large