I HATE NY

I wasn’t going to do an I HATE NY segment today, but a young man named Justin on the 2nd floor was nice enough to craft the graphic I used as a thumbnail for this blog, and I was excited to try it out.

I will display it again here because it makes me smile…

He made me sufficiently fat without hurting my feelings, threw in an extra couple of lines for my many face and head wrinkles as well as my double chin, and even threw in a copy of the Wall Street Journal, even though I never read that rag in my life.

Anyhoo… Check out this bitch.

She’s using a public drinking fountain in Central Park as a bidet to wash her dog’s ass.

She’s doing it in the shadow of a baseball field that is probably home to dozens of little league teams, and there is a guy on the far right seemingly relaxing on a nearby bench while this whole afront to humanity is occurring.

Scratch that… Since we are talking about Central Park, those legs on the right are either connected to a drugged out homeless guy who possesses neither the skill nor the desire to be a moral barometer for the fountain abuser… OR those legs are not connected to anything at all and are just the remnants of a man torn in half by one of NYC’s many giant mutant rats.

I did a small amount of research, and here’s a list of diseases humans can contract after coming in contact with animal feces, saliva, and/or urine:
Anthrax
B-Virus (Herpes B)
Campylobacteriosis
Cryptococcosis
E. coli
Giardiasis
Hantavirus
Leptospirosis
Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA)
Ringworm (Dermatophytosis)
Roundworm (Toxocariasis)
and Salmonellosis

That is literally a Murderer’s Row of ailments, and yet this myopic clam prioritizes the possibility of one or many kids coming down with one or many of those diseases firmly behind her seemingly annoying dog’s need to have a rinsed asshole.

Think about that the next time your kid gets a little parched during the 7th inning stretch, and decides to wet his or her whistle on a spigot covered in some thoughtless cunt’s dog’s shit.

I fucking hate New York.

Take a report.

-Large