EMERGENCY: Wawa Is Making A Coffee Beer, I Repeat, Wawa Is Making A Coffee Beer

WAWA – Convenience-store giant Wawa is getting into the beer game, in a partnership with 2SP Brewing Co., the award-winning brewery located in Aston, about 15 minutes from its corporate headquarters in Delaware County. Winter Reserve Coffee Stout, created by 2SP head brewer Bob Barrar, combines Wawa’s limited-edition Winter Blend coffee with 2SP’s oatmeal stout. Wawa and 2SP say its flavor profile includes notes of sweet clove, dark chocolate, and graham crackers; a sample was not made available in advance. The beer will be launched at 4 p.m. Dec. 6 at the Wawa store at 721 Naamans Creek Rd. in Chadds Ford, the only Wawa in Pennsylvania that sells beer. At the firkin-tapping event, the first 50 cases will be available to purchase, first come, first serve, with a limit of two four-packs per person.

The world’s most convenient convenience store is missing one thing and one thing only in its inventory – Irish Coffee. It’s a no brainer. Wawa + Coffee x Beer = $$$. It doesn’t even matter what it’ll taste like. Those cups could be filled with goat piss fermented in Pennzoil and every maniac tailgating the Wing Bowl will take it to the face. It’ll be revered as sweet nectar from the dark Lords. A pure drink from the depths of Hades/under a bridge in Keningston where Gritty was conceived. But that’s the point. This is just a brilliant power play by Broken Goblet Brewing. OF COURSE every Philadelphian will buy and drink this beer, sight unseen. It’s like every warm blooded American who will purchase a Bud solely cause they had the outright balls to rename it “America”. It’s actually frightening to think there will be Delco degenerates who mix this in with their regular morning beer out of blind loyalty to the Wawa brand. There aren’t enough drunk tanks in Wildwood to handle it.

*Delco Lager is actually a pleasant surprise. And by pleasant surprise I mean you (probably) won’t go blind and/or wake up with a perc addiction while smelling like my dead uncle’s gambling debt.

PS – If anything I can’t wait for Wawa to run Coffee/Boozefest specials like they do for Hoagies. Those jingles would be off the charts. Again, Wawa Hoagiefest jams are infinity times better than anything on the radio at any given time. If you don’t bob your head to then you’re either dead already or a soulless asshole. Pure bliss.