Craig Kimbrel Is Looking For A Six-Year Deal, So I Would Like To Take This Time To Thank Him For His Contributions To The 2018 World Series Champion Boston Red Sox

Yeah, I’m good. But thank you! No, really. Thank you. Go get paid. You deserve it.

Craig Kimbrel’s agent has been running amok since his client became a free agent at the conclusion of the 2018 World Series. He went as far as calling Kimbrel the greatest closer of all-time earlier this month. Bananaland stuff. Greatest closer of the decade? Sure. He absolutely has a seat at the table for that conversation. But since we’re throwing out ridiculous resume claims, then we might as well throw out ridiculous contract demands to accompany them.

Kimbrel ain’t getting six years. Go right ahead and ask for it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. But I can’t imagine that any team in this league would be dumb enough or desperate enough to give a six-year deal to a 31-year-old closer who mostly depends on his fastball velocity to get outs. I feel even more confident that no team will do this after the Mets acquired Edwin Diaz. They would be dumb enough to give Kimbrel six years. But if they’re out of the equation, then Kimbrel is not getting his six years.

And that’s okay! They’re supposed to shoot for the moon. But I was walking away from the conversation once anything north of three years became the asking price. If he’s asking for six, I highly doubt that he’d end up signing a three-year deal after the fact. That is, unless that three-year deal had a beefed up average annual value, but I don’t see the Red Sox being the team to try that approach, either. Nor should they.

So, again — thank you, Craig Kimbrel. You were a joy to watch. I know that some fans refer to you as a heart attack closer. I think those fans are stupid. There isn’t a closer in the history of the game who shot a hundred percent, but you were damn near close. We may have had some scares in the postseason, but when it’s all said and done, you will ride off into the Fenway Park sunset with a World Series ring and, at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. God speed, Dirty Craig.*

*Unless you sign a three-year deal with the Red Sox with an average annual value of roughly $15 million. Then, you’re more than welcome to come back and we’d all love to have you back.