If You Camp Outside in K-Ville For Over a Month Just To See UNC vs. Duke You Are a Gigantic Asshole
I imagine writing this blog will piss off a ton of pretentious assholes from Duke who complain when daddy is late with their weekly $500 allowance. I would like to take this time to say hello to those people and that I despise your university and what it stands for. Fuck Duke. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s continue to the point of this blog, During the broadcast of last night’s fantastic Syracuse overtime victory over Duke in Cameron Indoor, ES*N’s Allison Williams did a quick segment on K-Ville, which is short for Krzyzewskiville.
Now I’m not introducing a brand new phenomenon to you guys. We all know what this is, but for those that don’t know some details let me fill you in. There are different level of tents which designate different levels of priority for tickets and have different rules for how often you have to be there. Black tents are the most exclusive ones, where only 70 spots are available. Allison reported that 150 groups of people applied for that section this year. What she didn’t tell you was that Duke makes you take a test where you need to score as high as possible to get a spot. Here are some of the questions…
-To the nearest whole number, how many points per game is the team averaging? How do we rank in ppg in the NCAA? (1 point for average, 1point for rank)
-What is our most watched game this season? How many viewers tuned in? #theDukeeffect (1 point for game, 1 point for number of viewers, to the nearest ten thousand)
-Which player was on track to be salutatorian at his high school? (2points)
- In an episode of Duke Blue Planet, the Duke strength and conditioning coach gave out awards. Who won most improved and who won the¾-court sprint?
Absolutely ridiculous. You have one hour, can’t use the internet and only have the 12 people in your group as a resource. The top 70 scoring groups of the 150 get a spot in the black tent section. Jesus Christ. Shout out stoolie Nick for sending this to me.
Now to the actual act of sleeping in a tent. I’m not a big outdoors guy, hand up. You won’t see me taking a road trip and camping in the woods EVER. I obviously understand people eat that shit up, and that’s totally fine. But if you are at a college, like Duke, and are spending a month and a half sleeping outside just to see a regular season basketball game, albeit UNC vs. Duke, you are a certified psychopath and an asshole. There is something actually wrong with you.
For people that stay in the black tents, which hold up to 12 people, you have to keep at least 10 in the tent at all times. There are actual monitors who do tent checks in the middle of the night. Those people must be AWESOME at parties. Keep in mind during all of this you’re going to Duke University and the classes are impossibly hard. You’re outside in the cold with likely shitty wifi and limited outlets (if any), yeah good luck passing any of these classes. Now I imagine all these students get blackout drunk every single night, but how long before that gets old? If this was a week long thing that’s totally fine, I might even convince myself to do it, but six weeks that’s beyond insane. They do this at Syracuse for big games but it’s only for a few days. Sure, Duke/UNC is one of the greatest rivalry in sports, if not the best, but going to a regular season basketball game in mid-February is not even close to worth it. I had Duke people in my mentions last night telling me I don’t know what I’m talking about and this and that. Nope, you’re just a delusional asshole from Duke who thinks you are better than everyone else. You only do this because you think it makes you a better college basketball fan than everyone else in the country. Nope, you’re just an asshole. Someone asked me what if the Yankees and Red Sox only played once a year at Yankee Stadium but you had to camp out for two months in order to go. You know what I’d do? I’d watch it on TV at a bar like a normal person. Does that make me soft? Maybe, but at least I didn’t waste six weeks camping outside in the cold during college just to see one basketball game.
Fuck Duke. Fuck K-Ville. Fuck Coach K.
Syracuse 95 Duke 91