Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central | Friday, November 15th, 2024Watch Now

There Has To Be A Better Way To Get From NYC To AC Besides The Poor Person Bus

Screen Shot 2019-01-18 at 11.51.56 AM

Look, I don’t mean to poor shame. I’m not Stool Presidente, I don’t want to do that. But ever since I got direct deposit and a 401(k), I told myself I would never take the poor person bus again. And that’s not a slight to anyone, it’s just calling it as it is. Taking the bus is objectively a poor person thing to do when you can take the train or literally any other form of transportation to get from point A to point B.

To put it lightly, the Greyhound bus is fucking gross, filled with the worst, poorest, most miserable human beings ever. The second you get on it you start realizing what a god damn mistake you just made. Sure it’s much cheaper than every other option, but after the 3rd or 4th time you convince yourself “oh, it won’t be that bad, think about all the money I’m saving” you realize there’s no amount of money that you can save that can get you back on that hellscape on wheels. It’s just not worth it in any way.

The problem is, I love playing poker, and I love the Borgata in AC. I would go there every freaking weekend if you know, there was any reasonable way besides the fucking poor person bus to get there. Not only is the bus the easiest way to get to AC, it’s almost legitimately the ONLY way to get there directly.

The other options:

1) You take the Amtrak to Philly (puke) and then switch to the NJ Transit (double puke) to Atlantic City. Oh, or you can take a bus from Philly (triple backflip tomahawk puke).

2) You rent a car in NYC and drive. So you’re still hitting all the same traffic as the bus, but you’re paying $400 or so dollars plus the $30 a night parking in AC, and your car is probably going to get broken into.

3) Helicopter. Probably the most reasonable option to be honest. Pay a few thousand bucks split 6 ways and take a 45 minute chopper to AC.

And that’s it. I guess renting a car is arguably the best option, but it’s pricey as shit and as a resident of New York City, driving is pretty foreign to me at this point. Plus, it’s just not economically sound to do it every weekend. $400+ every weekend just to drive to AC? Can’t have that.

My proposal? If a train is completely out of the option, a bus company needs to come through with an upper tier bus service. Lots of leg room, clean bathrooms, no smell like it just got cleaned with sewage and human feces. Maybe even have an application process to be accepted onto the bus so they know you won’t be eating Fish Filets on it or blasting music out of your boom box. Wouldn’t be the worst idea to have a yearly fee, around 1 dollar a week, for the rights to take the better bus. Basically, if the bus is the only option, at least give me the option to take one that doesn’t make me want to kill myself. The Borgata is so nice, it’s just a shame I have to subject myself to the people who stay on the strip and actually go into the Atlantic City ocean in order to get there. I just shivered writing that sentence. In the Summer, people actually go in the Atlantic City ocean, on purpose. And that’s who you are sharing the bus with. Disgusting.