The Idiotic Governor Of Virginia Dressed In Blackface With His KKK Friend And Wont Resign For Moonwalking With His Face Painted In Shoe Polish

Madlibs. The headline reads like madlibs and because the headline is true, folks,,,, the libs are mad. Madlibs. Get it?

Anyway, this story is all over the place and we haven’t blogged it yet primarily because it touches on politics in a major way but the guy is a governor and a full-blown idiot. We blog about idiots who say idiotic things all the time. This certainly qualifies so, therefore, I’ll blog it.

The dumbass Governor of Virginia is seen in his yearbook wearing either blackface or being dressed fully in KKK garb. Because of that, everyone in his own party’s leadership is calling for him to resign.

Not great when nobody is on your side. It might actually be time to,,,,resign. Cant lead a state when everyone hates you or at the very least you’re stupid as hell.

Most people know that when you get caught in a picture like those, you apologize. Simple as that. Say you’re sorry and try to move on as quickly as you can. 5-minute presser. 200-word blog. Get out in front of it and move on. Tried and true PR.

Ole Ralph didnt do that. He relied on his “Southern Charm and sly little smile” and that makes him the dumbest person who ever lived. You cant cute up your blackface story by being adorably Southern and forgetting who *checks notes* MICHAEL JACKSON is. After forgetting who MJ was, he explains why he didn’t use much more shoe polish because it’s actually very hard to get off.

Doesnt that imply that…. he’s done it before? The guy is just a fucking idiot. A reporter goes on to ask him if he can still moonwalk. It KILLLLLSSSS him not to moonwalk right then and there. His wife is the only thing stopping him from looking like the biggest buffoon in history. Despite his wife’s pleas, if the music would have started and you could hear the Beat It music start to get going, he would have moonwalked in all of our faces right behind the podium. There’s no doubt in my mind that we would have gotten a HEE-HEE and a nut grab too.

Anyway, the entire story is the most bizarre shit I’ve seen since the BBC documentary on Michael Jackson where he climbed a tree and bought a chess set for 89 thousand dollars and then nearly cried when he saw a jade candle holder.

Even that documentary makes more sense than what the governor of Virginia did today.