Live EventJon Gruden and Dave Portnoy Join Max and PFT For Eagles-CommandersWatch Now

Bison Gallops Full Speed Right By A Bunch Of People At Yellowstone Park

How many pounds of poop did those people simultaneously let out of their assholes when that bison sprinted by them? No less than 15 pounds. People forget that nature is fucking scary. I don’t forget that nature is scary but I do forget/never knew just how big bison are. I’m so stupid that I assume that any animal that can gallop is the same size as a horse. In my mind, there’s no size between a horse and a giraffe. It’s one or the other. Up until 11 minutes ago I thought bison were the exact same size as horses. Turns out they are not. Bison are apparently as big as a full-sized emergency vehicle and they’re very fast. Much faster than they look. Watching that bison run was like watching an NFL defensive lineman run a 4.3 40 yard dash. Imagine that bison blowing up a wide receiver coming over the middle.

Remember that giant fucking moose that was strolling down the street a few months ago?

Before that video I assumed all moose were the size of a horse and so did you. Nature is fucking scary.