Carlton's Lawsuit Against Fortnite Comes Up Short

Hollywood Reporter- The U.S. Copyright Office is skeptical about Fresh Prince of Bel-Airactor Alfonso Ribeiro’s ownership claim over the signature “Carlton Dance,” which became famous after a 1991 episode of the Will Smith series.

In correspondence last month that was surfaced on Wednesday in California federal court, Saskia Florence, a supervisory registration specialist in the Office’s Performing Arts Division, told Ribeiro’s attorney that registration must be refused because his claimed “choreographic work” was a “simple dance routine.”

“The dancer sways their hips as they step from side to side, while swinging their arms in an exaggerated manner,” wrote Florence (see here). “In the second dance step, the dancer takes two steps to each side while opening and closing their legs and their arms in unison. In the final step, the dancer’s feet are still and they lower one hand from above their head to the middle of their chest while fluttering their fingers. The combination of these three dance steps is a simple routine that is not registrable as a choreographic work.”

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A few months ago, Carlton tried to patent his dance because Fortnite had taken it. Now, the results are in, and what a fucking breakdown. Picture the nerd who had to write that description. Old Saskia couldn’t come within a country mile of a passable Carlton dance. Yet somehow, she (?) has the fucking balls to say it’s a “simple routine.” She’s listing the steps like it’s the emergency safety demonstration on a plane. As if by following her instructions to a T, you, too, can dance exactly like this:

Saskia, shut your damn mouth. What about soul? What about verve? You could write me the tablature for Jimmy Hendrix’s iconic rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, but that doesn’t mean it’s a simple guitar song. Someone needs to take Saskia out for a night of swing dancing at a Mississippi speakeasy during prohibition. Show the old bag some “simple” dance routines.

Having said that, I don’t blame Alfonso Ribeiro for trying. The dance is called… the Carlton. Everyone knows it as such. Fortnite, a video game responsible for boosting the stock value of the pharma company that makes ritalin, makes more money than Jeff Bezos’ wife. Carlton took his shot at a nice slice of pie and was rebuffed by a woman who knows nothing whatsoever about dancing. Fortnite should do the right thing and break him off a decent piece. Maybe $10 million? Seems fair.