Did I Just Get Called Out By ANOTHER Comedic Hack?

You know, besides having to do a load of laundry in the bronx because a wash and dry cycle costs me $2 each, nothing really pisses me off. But this prick named JayNog has gotten me so upset, that I’m here writing at 11:30am on a Thursday.

I’m running on less than 3 hours of sleep because I fell into Smitty’s Fortnite trap and played from 9:30pm-5-am today. A real 9-5 if you ask me. How did I get sucked into this? Smitty said I couldn’t go to bed until we get a squad win. This wasn’t the first time I fell for the bait.

This dude always yells “LAST ONE” after we die and before you know it, 9 hours goes by and my brain turns into a dead tuna fish. Long story short, we got the win at 4:40am.

I didn’t think we would actually win, so now I owe a Stoolie $1 out of my damn savings account.

Now, after getting to the office, sitting in my chair, and already starting to dwindle out, I decided that I deserved a god damn sprinkled donut. So, as I got out of my chair, I got a Twitter notification from a recognizable face that had actually blocked me for what seemed like an eternity.

Dude you can’t even spell Life Ref correctly let alone invent it.

And to make it more embarrassing, the boy who cried wolf decided to tweet this at Deadspin and what seems like every twitter handle ever created

What the hell am I reading? If anything, Deadspin should be writing an article about how some human sized ferret went after a kid with Parkinson’s who just wants to make the world laugh and smile more. Who the hell is this dude? (21 second mark).

Oh yeah, now I remember this dude. He got manhandled by Nate during an interview. NATE. When Nate said, “Do you think it was because it wasn’t very funny” in regard to his Comedy Central show(1:39), Jay Snob should’ve just retired from LIFE right there.

Listen bro, I have interviewed for a job at Barstool Sports and it took me 4 days. My first 5 minutes auditioning for Barstool Idol was more entertaining than this interview. Go pick up a night shift at Walmart and call it a career.

Here’s the deal. The idea of officiating things that aren’t sports related isn’t that original. It has been done MANY times on YouTube. Just search “Real Life Referee on YouTube”.

I used to ref intramural games at IUPUI, and people already knew me from that job. When I worked at Barstool Heartland (R.I.P) with Pat McAfee, me and some interns came up with the character “Ref Daddy” to officiate places and events that could possibly get me shot or stabbed. That shit is fun and gets the adrenaline going and its great.

You would imagine Ref Daddy to be some hunk with slick hair and an attractive manly voice, right? Nah, it’s a squid with a whistle that calls and says whatever the hell he is thinking of. That’s different. Hell, I’ve officiated wheelchair basketball games!

I’d rather hang out with my guy Tyler O’Day for a day than watch this expired cheese stick’s standup routine, better yet, a video of his.

What is it with all of these comedic hacks going after me!? First you have Matt Light and now this walking weasel?? Yo $20 Chef! You tryna fight again?

I barely do stand up and have all the “comedians” attentions. I’m not even a comedian! I’m just a college kid that happens to be entertaining and funny. I can’t express it enough when I say, “Don’t talk back to Daddy” because stuff like this will happen. Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame Jay Slob. And while you’re at it, why don’t you go ahead and re-block me again like you did last year.