Scary Spice Mel B Confesses She Had Sex With Ginger Spice During The Spice Girls Tour

FOx News - This should make the Spice Girls reunion tour even more interesting. Mel “Scary Spice” B revealed she and Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell once had sex. “She is going to hate me for this because she is all posh in a country house but it wasn’t a ‘thing,’” Mel B, 43, told Piers Morgan on “Life Stories” Friday. “it just happened, we just giggled at it and that was it,” she said. “We were best friends. It just happened.” Mel lamented that since she revealed the bombshell, “[Halliwell] and her husband are going to kill me.” She also admitted to kissing Mel C (Sporty Spice), but said it was “nothing sexual” and was simply to show off and test out a new tongue piercing.

Do you hear that? Shhhhh! Listen. Can you hear it? That’s the sound of 13 year old me painting the fucking CEILING with a Spice Girls inspired load. That’s me fucking power washing the walls with semen at like 1000 psi. This is honestly spank bank material from like 1994 coming to life in 2019. The Spice Girls RAN SHIT for a while there before the boy bands took over. Honestly I always wondered what it was that caused the girl bands to fall off and allow the boy bands to take over, and now I know – the girls were too busy scissoring and 69’ing to keep up with *NSYNC and BsB.

I don’t think people are fully appreciating the gravity of this situation. The implications from Mel B fucking Geri Halliwell. It’s incredible. First things first, I’m STUNNED Sporty Spice wasn’t involved. For obvious reasons. If you told me to put money on which Spice Girls engaged in lesbian activity, Sporty Spice woulda been like -10,000 and I still woulda bet the rent on her. Secondly, Scary Spice and Ginger Spice are not exactly the preferred members of the gang to envision going to town on each other, but we can make do. They are actually the last two you wanna see probably. Give me a Posh Spice/Baby Spice sex tape and we are COOKIN. Even give me Sporty Spice engaging in one of those lesbian wrestling pornos. You know what I’m talking about? Those videos thats are two chicks in a high school gym all out, full on wrestling each other. Like grappling and shooting with a little bit of pussy eating mixed in there. I half expect to see someone wearing headgear in the next one I see. I think I saw a bitch with cauliflower ear once. I coulda sworn I saw KB No Swag reffing one before.

Anyway. I digress. Back to the importance of this hook up. The effects are far reaching. Well beyond me going home tonight and masturbating to Victoria Beckham with Wanna Be playing in the background. No, the Butterfly Effect on this one is much more important than that. You see, the Spice Girls fucking each other pretty much validates all the dumb, ridiculous fantasies guys had when they were adolescents. At a certain age, every guy just automatically assumes all girls are fucking. Theres a reason why the old cliche storyline is that we think girls have sleepovers with pillow fights in their underwear and eventually start going down on each other all night long. There’s a reason why if we see attractive twins we ask “You think they ever hook up? At the very least they have had sex side by side, right?” There’s a reason why if we see two girls next to each other we pretty much start thinking about them having sex. And the reason, up until today, was just that we are horny, idiotic morons. But now? NOW??? The reason we just assume all girls eventually hook up with each other is because apparently they do. The reason is we were fucking RIGHT all along! You bitches have been rolling your eyes at us forever when in reality you’ve all probably been like “Shit, they are on to us.”

I mean we were all secretly listening to Wanna Be while hanging out in an AOL Lesbian chat room, cyber sexing with another 13 yr old boy who was pretending to do the same thing. And we were debating who was the hottest Spice Girl and which ones would have sex with which. Wondering what Saved By The Bell girls would fuck each other. Thinking about the Baywatch girls having threesomes. Now that we know Mel B was eating out Ginger Spice, ALL of those things become possible! Now that we have some hardcore proof that sexy girls living and working together in close proximity has 100% led to lesbian sex, I have no reason to not assume that happened with every girl group. Every female duo. Movie, TV show, band, whatever. If Mel B and Geri were fuckin, then so was Tiffany Amber Theissen and Leah Remini, shout out to Malibu Sands. 90210 was just a giant orgy behind the scenes when the cameras stopped rolling. Melrose Place? Forget it. The girls on that were almost fucking on camera, let alone behind the scenes. Fast forward to today and only Lord knows whats going on with chicks now. If the Spice Girls were going down on each other in 1994, then the chicks on Riverdale must be doing stuff with double sided dildos and strap ons and shit. All of it is on the table.

Thats what this casual little story from Mel B did. She doesnt realize what she did with this giggly little confession. Congrats Scary Spice, now I am ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CERTAIN every girl I’ve ever seen is scissoring her best friend. Absolutely every famous female is now bi sexual and hooking up with whichever friend is most obvious. All it takes is confirmation of one story and now the default is that chicks are fucking. Its now up to you girls to disprove your lesbian tendencies, because thanks to Mel B I definitely think you’re all having sex with each other.