Sad News, It Appears Jordan Bell Was Really Suspended For Buying A Candle. You Read That Right, A Candle
A candle? We’re talking about a candle? I have to say this has me wildly disappointed. Now before you go questioning this I’ll just have you know Jordan Bell himself retweeted it so I’m going to consider it fact. This morning when the news broke given how tight lipped the team was about the whole situation it was only right to think it was something they didn’t want getting out. But a $15 candle? Jesus Mike Brown be more lame. You get that upset because this dude charged a candle to your room? That’s charmin soft right there. At least before this news hit the internet you could understand if he wracked up a huge bar bill or ordered some adult entertainment in his room or something along those lines, but now that we know what it really was I feel like Brown should be suspended for a game for being so goddamn uptight.
Talk about a letdown though. If you gave me 1,000 guesses I wouldn’t even come close to guessing a candle. And honestly who doesn’t love a good candle? I can’t even imagine being upset with someone getting me a candle as long as it was a good scent. Maybe it’s because I’m washed now and currently have two giant monster Saint Bernards in my house but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to never underestimate the power of a legit candle. It’s why those things are so goddamn expensive but in my opinion worth the money for a good one. I just did a lap of my house and I counted a total of 5 candles. Can’t live without them as far as I’m concerned. So maybe Mike Brown shouldn’t have been such a little bitch and maybe been appreciative of what is actually a thoughtful and useful gift.
In reality, it’s just disappointing this really is the end of #PornGate. That’s a much better story and one I will always wish was actually true. I guess the only silver lining about all this candle talk is it reminded me of one of my favorite scenes from the movie My Idiot Brother. Laugh every time I see it without fail. Enjoy.