STUDY: Northwestern University Researchers Are Claiming That Jet Lag Is Good For Your Brain

(ABC Chicago)–EVANSTON, Ill. — Jet lag may have a positive impact on the brain. In a new study, Northwestern University researchers induced jet lag in a fruit fly model of Huntington’s disease and found that jet lag protected the flies’ neurons. “We essentially gave the flies jet lag for every day of their lives,” said Northwestern’s Dr. Ravi Allada, a circadian rhythm expert who led the research. “It’s like traveling four hours east every day.” Although fruit flies might seem completely different from humans, the neurons that govern flies’ sleep-wake cycles are strikingly similar to humans’, according to Allada. The team then identified and tested a circadian clock-controlled gene that, when knocked down, also protected the brain from the disease. 

I’d like to take this time to tell the scientific community to fuck right off. Now. Fuck off. I want to know how something like this gets approved. I assume they need to spend hours and hours writing a pitch, present it to a board, take the funding, and then essentially light that money on fire. If this is the type of thing that University researchers have money for then they have too much money. You want to know why tuition costs are through the roof? Because universities are spending your parents hard earned money on fruit fly jet lag studies.

Let me save you the dollars and time needed…jet lag fucking sucks. Sleep deprivation, upset stomach from shitty airline food, can’t get comfortable, and function. And what they’re claiming is that jet lag can increase your cognative abilities in 40 years or whatever because it preserves neurons. Well guess what morons…jet lag kills your brain function in the present. I am good with losing my marbles slowly in 40 years if it means I am able to be a sane thinking person right now today. And…what about the other problems associated with jet lag and sleep deprivation…like idk…higher stress levels, crankiness, irritability, etc. Those are the types of things that can cause heart disease and divorce. So yeah, congrats. You made some fruit flies miserable and their brains didn’t die off quite as fast just so you can say that jet lag isn’t bad. Fuck outta here. You’re causing divorce, baldness, and heart attacks with this study.