We Are Currently Living In The Greatest Era Of Human Existence: Lunchables Are Making Brunchables, Coming Soon To A Mouth Near You
Biz Journals – The revolution in lunchbox convenience that is Lunchables was born 30 years ago when product developers at Oscar Mayer decided to reinvigorate lagging interest in bologna by cutting it into cute circles, packing it into a sectioned box with American cheese and some crackers, and creating a stacking-fun grab-and-go meal.
The concept has branched into everything from nachos to hot dogs since then, and now maker Kraft Heinz (NASDAQ: KHC) is targeting morning munchers with its launch of breakfast food-based Brunchables…
…The breakfast boxes come in three varieties, Bacon & Cheese, Breakfast Ham & Cheese, and Breakfast Sausage & Cheese, and will sell for $1.99 each, the company said in a news release.
Millennials didn’t invent the concept of “brunch” but they sure as shit decided to take it over and turn it into the most important meal of the week. But what’s the worst part about brunch on a Saturday or Sunday morning?
The fact that you have to leave your house and go to crowded trendy ass spot to overpay for a plate of eggs and some Bloody Mary’s that aren’t nearly spicy enough for your liking. The biggest issue with brunch is that the idea is inherently good, but the execution of brunch is horrible. The idea of combining both breakfast and lunch? Genius. But having to leave the house when you’re hungover and deal with overly crowded restaurants just because they burn their menu onto a block of wood and the rustic industrial decor gets your dick hard? Not exactly worth it.
Which is why Brunchables is here to change the game forever. Because now you get that delicious brunch menu that you so desperately need to get you going on a Saturday or Sunday morning. Only you don’t have to deal with the crowds and the exorbitant prices. You can get that breakfast sausage & cheese sandwich on a flatbread with a muffin right from the package for only $1.99. And then you can just make your own drinks at home with the remaining drops of Tito’s still in the bottle from the night before and some good ol’ fashion Zing Zang. Simple as that.
So shoutout to Lunchables for finally fixing brunch. The execution is finally there and it’s coming soon to a mouth near you. And no, this wasn’t an ad or anything, but if Lunchables wants to start giving me some free shit then I am very much open for business. I’ve been the leading Lunchables writer on the internet ever since I blogged about microwaving Pizza Lunchables a few years ago.