Twin Brothers Were Both Acquitted of Assault Because They Could Not Be Told Apart

Twin brothers from the Belgian city of Leuven have been acquitted of involvement in a snack-bar fight because they could not be told apart.

Ibrahim and Murat A were both put on trial for assault and causing injury to a man during a row in October 2015.

Police obtained CCTV footage of the attack, but the brothers looked so alike that neither police nor the victim could work out who was to blame.

If you have two suspects, you don’t have one. That’s what I’ve always been taught. And apparently this judge in Belgium subscribes to the same doctrine of law, seeing as he cleared both of these twins of any wrongdoing because they could not be told apart. Absolutely unbelievable. One of these two dudes beat the shit out of someone, but the video of the attack was so grainy that the police and jury didn’t know who to blame. So in that case, the judge has ruled that they are both INNOCENT!

Man, I wish my parents would’ve been cut from the same cloth as this judge. Unfortunately, they were the complete opposite. No one is fessing up to it? Okay, you’re all grounded. Guilt by association. But my parents were tyrants. The great thing about this country (and apparently Belgium) is that you are innocent until proven guilty. And the best way to avoid being proven guilty is to simply look like someone else.

Oh boy do I love twins. Not only do they look good in Coors Light commercials, they also seem to get to play by a different set of rules than everyone else. Twins have been getting away with so much shit for years. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know that being a twin would hold up in court. But I do know that in the movies, being a twin is like a free pass to do whatever you want. I mean, Fred and George Weasley ran around that Harry Potter school like they owned the place. Those two dudes from The Prestige were out there fooling the entire world. And even those little red heads in The Parent Trap were menaces to their dad’s hot girlfriend.

I wish I was a twin. Not that I have any intention of committing crimes, but if necessary, they would be so much easier to pull off. You know who else I bet wishes they were a twin? Dave Portnoy 2. This dude was stealing thousands of dollars, opening bank accounts, and renting apartments in Florida all while being a “5’9 African American male with well kept dreadlocks”. Think of how much more he could’ve away with if he were a 5’6 sniffly raisin! Definitely would make sneaking into the Super Bowl Media Night much easier.