Surviving Barstool S4 Ep. 9 | Old Dog Bites BackWATCH NOW

The Chicago Cubs Are Officially Back After Destroying The Pittsburgh Pirates 10-0

Screen Shot 2019-04-09 at 9.39.28 AMIt’s been exhausting complaining about the Cubs to start the year. The pitching staff through 10 games is dead last in hits, walks, runs and ERA against. All horrible results, but the lineup has been atop the NL in average, OBP, slugging, etc. making the pain of a 2-7 road trip to start the year that much worse.

If only the staff had been just “bad” and not historically awful, one or two more games could have gone a different way. If CJ Edwards was ready. If Morrow was healthy. If the Cubs had a reliable lefty. If Darvish could go longer than 4 innings.

Like I said it’s been exhausting.

^ all of us

But that was before the Cubs came home and opened up a brand new season yesterday by dismantling the Pittsburgh Pirates 10-0. Scout’s honor I was ready for the umpires to call slaughter rule and end the game after the 4th but they continued play. That’s fine, it gave the Cubs’ relievers an opportunity to work 7 scoreless frames:

Screen Shot 2019-04-09 at 10.03.56 AM

As exciting as 10 runs looks on any scoreboard, by far the biggest momentum builder is sending 4 relievers back to the bullpen Wednesday coming off scoreless outings. Obviously this group needs to get going to support a lineup that’s averaging 7.2 runs/game, which is 3rd in baseball behind the Mariners and Dodgers respectively.

What else.

Javy Baez had a jaw dropping single which is something I never thought I’d say but here I am saying it:

His quote afterwards might be even better:

Sometimes it just takes good luck, like when the Cubs broke things open in the 3rd for 6 runs. That came after a quick two outs, and even then it took a throwing error to put Descalso on first with no one out. Here’s what followed: walk, double, single, HBP, single, single, error, strikeout. One bad play followed by 7 more horrible plays. They say offense is contagious in baseball and this is a perfect example of something blowing up. If there’s big momentum from this win, you can point to the bottom of the 3rd on April 8th and know this was a huge piece of it.

Btw, the only extra base hit in the 6th run 3rd was from Jon Lester. He’s reached base in 4 of his 5 plate appearances with 2 walks and 2 hits. Remember when he was hilariously awful 4 years ago after coming over from the AL? Well turns out the super competitive future Hall of Famer is athletic enough to figure it out. Is he Kyle Schwarber? No, but in 2015 he was 4-71 with 30 strikeouts.

Only Kyle Schwarber is Kyle Schwarber

Weird because he doesn’t hit lefties because he never gets to face lefties. That’s a shame because it would be great to see him add more to this ejaculatory GIF

Unfortunately Lester had to leave after his double with hamstring pain. He explained after to reporters that the training staff is going to make it sound a lot worse than it is. He said his leg is fine and he’ll take it day by day. No hesitancy at all about going on the DL, but certainly it doesn’t make you feel good. Fortunately it’s Jon Lester we’re talking about so if the injury is minimal, he’ll play. And if he has to sit out, he’ll be back as soon as anyone can come back. So even when he’s hurt he’s actually the best, which is why we love Jon Lester.

With or without Lester moving forward in the short-term, it’s offense, offense, OFFENSE right now with the Cubs. Even if it means taking Almora completely out of centerfield to have Heyward slide over to create more offense – great. Even if the resulting defense resembles your dad’s Forest Park 16-inch team. Even so, that’s 2019 Chicago Cubs baseball and you have no choice but to love it.

So buy a t-shirt.

God told me in a dream last night that if we move 50 units by the end of the day the Cubs are officially officially back. #TasteAndSee