Video Leaks Of Wikileak's Julian Assange Skateboarding in the Ecuadorian Embassy

The fact that we dont have the audio of what he was saying is a travesty. I think I can figure it out tho.

“Julian, how long have you been living in the Ecuadorian Embassy?”

“Oh, not that long. 5 years or so. Kinda forgot. Lost track of time, ya know? It’s just me and my cat and my trusty skateboard.”

“They took your cat because you didnt feed it and let it use the restroom anywhere it wanted.”

“Oh, right. Forgot about that. Michi is gone but I do have a lovely picture of him. It’s on my phone.”

“I thought you couldnt have a cell phone?”

“Oh, right. I meant literally on the phone. It’s laying on the landline in a frame. Have a look.”

“Adorable.”

“Thanks. Check this move out. One leg.”

“That’s nice, Julain. Why does it smell so foul in here? Are they treating you ok?”

“Oh, right. That’s because I smeared my shit on the wall when I was bored.”

“You did what?”

“Smeared it. All over the place. Classic prank, innit? Check this move out.”

“That’s essentially the same move, Julian. You’re just moving in a different direction, arent you?

“Oh, right. I guess so.”

Thank you for reading. I wrote Julian’s words using what I imagine Ricky Gervais’ cadence of speech and tone would sound like. Read it again like Ricky was saying it.

And because you lasted this long, here’s my favorite comedy scene in television history.