Worst Person Wednesdays: Concert Snapchatters
Concert snaps should be a required one and done deal. Take a quick shot to prove to the people at home that you’re outgoing, then close curtain. We don’t have time to be watching these motion picture events you’re putting out there. After we see your view in the nosebleeds we’re tapping through the rest at the speed of light anyway. Might as well save yourself the anxiety the next morning when you’re listening to your voice drown out a professional singer’s for 282 consecutive seconds. You know Keith Urban songs. That has been made clear. No further documentation needed, film crew has it covered.
By the 3rd addition to a compulsive concert snapper’s story it becomes hard for the audience to even watch. It’s like a car crash. Hard to look, but can’t look away. Brutally painful as well. Once those venue beers start having an effect and that thumb starts getting a little lenient with the record button, we the viewers know some soon-to-be deleted scenes are on the horizon. We’re already aware that you’re autopilot drunk right now and that singing isn’t on your resumé, but for you to be putting out this TMZ footage of yourself is the best part of the production. It’s like watching someone’s own Black Mirror episode. They’re taking a selfie video singing with half a taco in their mouth, filming each and every stanza – overall just not the kind of influence we need from our influencers.
It’s not that I’m mad that some people take the initiative to plan ahead for fun events instead of aimlessly relying on being invited everywhere, I just don’t need to witness 5 and a half minutes of you, Macklemore, and Ryan Lewis tearing it up. And you shouldn’t have to worry about the people who managed to see that horror show before you could destroy it either. That already puts a slight chance of the Monday scaries in the forecast. It’s better for both parties this way. Snap responsibly.
PS – DROID concert snapchatters almost deserve their own hit piece here. You’re really gonna have the balls to take a 100 second snap movie with that quality camera? I’m not lasting more than a second in your story with those green text videos. Everyone looks like an N64 graphic or a Sim, the mouths never match up with the words – it’s like you suddenly wound up in a Skype session. You could probably be linking arms with the artist on stage and I still wouldn’t watch it, or even be able to make out what I’m supposed to be watching if I did.