If You're Upset About The Starbucks Cup In Game Of Thrones, You Need To Kill Yourself

When its all said and done for me, I dont think the story of the final season of Game of Thrones will have to do with the plot of the TV show at all. I think the lasting legacy was how arguably the greatest and most popular premium TV show of all time wrapped up smack dab in the middle of the world’s social media prime, and how every single scene of every single episode was so heavily analyzed and discussed that the world lost its collective fucking minds. In the end, dragons and ice zombies and a big metal chair caused the world to lose their shit. I personally love it. I think its fascinating to see a show have an impact like this. Putting out a podcast on the matter has made me realize just how passionate people are on this show. Its something I’ve obviously always known but not quite to this extent. I mean out of every internet controversy I’ve ever had – the Blindos, the Hondos, the Jews, Real Life Super Heroes, Incarcerated Bob, the list goes on and on – none has been louder than mixing it up with the Game of Thrones maniacs. Saying those first three episodes sucked (because they did, and episode 4 being as good as it was proved that point) was maybe the most controversial thing I’ve ever been embroiled in on the internet. And I’ve been on Page Six and in People Magazine for a fucking sex scandal. I lost like a thousand followers upsetting people who liked the first three episodes. I dont think I lost any during my cheating controversy. Thats the kinda passion we are talking about with this TV show.

And I understand it. I appreciate it. I love it. But all that being said, if you’re actually mad about a Starbucks cup in the shot last night during the post game celebration at Winterfull, you’re a goddam loser. First of all I’m not convinced it wasnt on purpose for some reason or a joke or a goddam bet because its so fucking ridiculous that it happened. Second of all, I’m not convinced it wasnt paid for. Everyone was a price. Even Benioff and Weiss. Third of all, even if it snuck through the 79 lines of defense it needed to in order to make it to air, just relax. Is it sloppy? Sure. Can Thrones ever claim that they are the most realistic, meticulous, precise show ever anymore? No, probably not. They’ve gotten sloppy enough with some of the plot and story telling and now sloppy enough with this goddam coffee cup that theres a chink in the armor. Thrones reputation used to be like three dragons traveling across the sea ready to fuck shit up…and now they’ve gotten a few gigantic spears fired through its neck and they arent what they used to be. But goddam man, people are angry about the cup? People really are gonna let a small oversight where an object from 2019 snuck into a scene of make believe medieval times be the end all be all? You wanna get mad about the first two episodes being completely uneventful, or episode 3 being a poorly executed Michael Bay movie which wrapped up a major storyline with zero interesting substance, go right ahead. And if you want to critique last night’s episode for real reasons, go right ahead. Cersei playing nice and not wiping out Dany right then and there at the gates of Kings Landing is pretty silly. Dragons getting taken by surprise by a fleet of ships in the middle of the ocean, silly. Missandei getting magically kidnapped via a quick camera shot of her in Cersei’s possession, lazy. There are some things you could rightfully gripe about. But the Starbucks cup aint one of them.

At least not for me. I’m much more concerned with the big picture and overall story telling. The major character arcs and plot points coming to fruition. When they fuck up that stuff, I get mad. When they leave a Starbucks cup in the shot, I laugh. I think about Darren Rovell analyzing the free marketing value their #brand received and cumming himself to the moon.

I appreciate the jokes about the baristas taking down her name for a coffee order

Give me all the Starbucks culture jokes:

Just relax. If you want to get mad about how poorly mythical fire beasts are being utilized in combat and you want to yell about how you didnt learn enough about the bad snowman with ice horns, fine. But I draw the line at being upset about the cup.

PS – Episode 1 had a motherfucker wearing Wranglers so even if you wanna say its “symbolic of the trajectory of the show” or whatever the fuck reaching you wanna do , that aint correct