Last Night Confirmed Bran Stark As One Of The More Useless, Overrated Characters In Television History

Last night we all witnessed maybe the most underwhelming conclusion to a great show in TV history. It was sooooo bad and it looks like 99% of you (aside from Portnoy) agree with that. At this point there was really not much they could do in the final episode to save it, but at least put up a better fight than that! The moment they cut away in episode 4 from Jon telling Arya and Sansa that he was actually a Targaryen the show was lost with no coming back. That was the biggest twist in the entire show and they ignored its significance like it was the smallest detail possible.

I could go on and on about how badly these writers fucked up, but I’m here to rip on Bran Stark. I’ve hated Bran FOREVER. Every time I shit on him I was reminded by the Bran Stans out there that he’s SOOOOOO important and that he’s the key to everything. You people are the same who told me for years that Greg Bird was going to be the best hitter on the Yankees. Well, now what? Where are you guys now? And don’t you dare try telling me because he’s king that he was the show’s MVP. Fuck outta here. He’s only king because a roundtable of idiots joyfully voted for him after they listened to Tyrion (a prisoner at the time). Nonsense. Fucking nonsense. He’s not even human! He’s the most robotic, unlikeable king of all-time. You voted that guy king?

Leading up to the Battle of Winterfell everyone thought Bran was going to come up big time. This was his moment. Bran vs. The Night King and all of his visions had built up to this big episode. So what happened? He warged into some birds and flew away. Some suggested he was fighting the Night King during this time. Others suggested he was guiding everyone else, especially Arya, to do their part and help him beat the Night King. Well you know what? They never brought up any of these moments ever again! So what did we get out of it? Bran was doing literally NOTHING during the biggest war of all time. He flying around in the sky enjoying the view. This asshole was hyped up to be the key and just sat there in his stupid chair with his eyes turned white and was as productive as you or I was during the battle. I was ready to have an egg on my face if in episodes 4, 5, or 6 we found it he was doing some really cool shit the whole time and winning the war. Nope. Nothing. Fucking useless.

How about the horse that Arya magically found after King’s Landing had burned to the ground? All you Bran Truthers screamed that Bran sent that horse. It was him who warged into that stallion and saved her. Nope, nothing. No mention of the horse whatsoever. Bran had nothing to do with it as far as we’re concerned. Useless.

The show ended so perfectly with Bran. He says he’s going to go find Drogon and warg into him. All talk. The show ends and we are left with only the imagination of him doing it. He’s like Elon Musk. You think we’re going to have bullet trains from LA to New York? We’re going to colonize Mars in 5 years? Oh you’re going to warg into Drogon after the show ends? Yeah, okay pal.

Everyone thought Bran was so key for knowing that Jon was a Targaryen. Well that didn’t end up mattering at all. Jon was made a prisoner and then sent to the Night’s Watch. They completely disregarded Jon being the rightful heir to the throne. No one cared. Bran’s info was completely useless.

So after all of this what is Bran’s biggest impact on the show? He got Hodor killed? That’s it. Thanks a lot Bran. You’re just the best.

Credit to the actor portraying Bran, Isaac Hempstead-Wright who admittedly wanted to die: “Though I kind of did want to die and get in one good death scene with an exploding head or something.” At least he knew what the people wanted. Bran being King was the worst outcome for the show imaginable. What a joke.