Chris Simms Has Tom Brady and Drew Brees as His 9th & 10th Best QBs

Welp. We are officially into the football’s Stupid Season. That deep, dark chasm between the end of OTAs and the start of training camp where nothing is going on. Rosters are more or less set. No one is getting hired or fired. And there is no news. This is the time when the Hot Takez crowd earns their money. When they’ve got to work extra hard to generate some heat in the vast coldness, like Thor and Giant Tyrion Lannister getting the space forge restarted in “Infinity War.”

So enter Chris Simms who, bless him, never lets little things like sound judgement, common sense, sanity or even facts stand in his way when he’s running around, flailing his arms and screaming for attention like a sugar-fueled toddler this time of year. So we get a Top 10 Quarterbacks list with Tom Brady and Drew Brees at the bottom. One who led his team to a Super Bowl win. The other, who would’ve been facing him in the Super Bowl were it not for the worst non-call in the history of the NFL. Brees led the league in Passer Rating. Brady was graded by Pro Football Focus as the No. 2 player in the league overall, behind only Aaron Donald:

But this point, do I even have to bother pointing out how wrong Simms is? Or is right/wrong entirely beside the point? Is it really just about creating buzz? Because just knowing that Brady and Brees are 9th and 10th – which is the first I’ve heard of this list since he started it – just invalidates the rest of it. It reminds me of a point I’ve heard Adam Carolla make about movie reviewers. That if you’re the one who gives a bad review to some movie with a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes, let’s say for example, “Mad Max: Fury Road,” or who gave a positive review to a piece of garbage like “Pixels,” that should cancel out all your other reviews. And if you argue there are eight better QBs in the NFL, your license to give opinions on pro football should be revoked.

But don’t just take my word for it. Take this Hall of Fame quarterback’s instead:

Or, like Kurt Warner, you can take it to an even higher authority:

OK, so PFF, Kurt Warner and God all agree with me. And the question then becomes not so much “Why would anyone think there are eight better quarterbacks than Brady and Brees?”, but “What did Tom Brady ever do to Chris Simms?” What happened in that 2012 season when he was a Patriots offensive quality control coach breaking down game film that makes him so bitter all these years later? Did Brady treat him badly? Did he tell Simms he sucked at his job? Do we need to call in a social worker with an anatomically correct doll to find out exactly what the bad man did to him?

I hope that’s not it and it’s not personal and being said just for the clicks. But the alternative is to believe that a former QB who lasted seven years in the NFL and analyzes it for a living could be so utterly, completely wrong-headed when it comes to evaluating the play at his old position. And that would be so, so much worse.