So Whose Insurance Covers A Giant Saguaro Cactus Piercing Through Your Windshield?
I’m gonna go ahead and just assume that maybe saving 15% or more with GEICO isn’t going to be enough to cover this one. Also–I feel like any time this person gets in their car once it’s repaired, they are going to be taking a rogue needle straight to the ass for the next couple of months. I don’t care what repair shop you bring this thing to. There’s not a chance in hell that they’re getting all of those needles out of there. Look at that thing. It’s a goddamn death machine. Why isn’t the military using more cactus-based weaponry to fight wars? That thing would fuck you up. And the needles aren’t even the scariest thing about this death machine. Just look at that trunk. I don’t know what I expected cacti to look like on the inside but it sure as shit wasn’t like that.
Which brings me to my next point–fuck the desert, man. The desert has to be without a doubt the least chill place in the world. Everything there is just looking to fuck you up. Cactus. Scorpions. Snakes. It’s all fucked up. And I get it. I mean food is obviously scarce in the desert so these things need to be as vicious as possible to make sure that they don’t end up being something else’s dinner. But can’t there be at least one thing in the desert that has any sort of cute, redeeming qualities? Until then, unfortunately I have to be OUT on the desert. At least until further notice.