The #1 Must Have Item For Every College Student In America
It’s officially August, which means back to school shopping is about to start ramping up. New clothes, colorful Lisa Frank spiral notebooks and trapper keepers, boxes upon boxes of Ramen noodles. The list goes on and on. But to me, no back to school list from now until the end of time is The Rook.
The Rook was featured in the Season Finale of American’s #1 Internet show BIG BRAIN. Talk about saving the best for last. Because The Rook just came on the scene and put the Swiss Army Knife essentially out of business from the clouds. I’m actually quite pissed this lifesaver of a tool didn’t exist when I was a young lad attending university. Because there were countless situations, and I do mean countless, where an emergency one hitter attached to my student issued lanyard would have completely changed my day. Ditto a bottle opener. So many tables edges could have been saved had the advent of The Rook come along circa 2007 rather than 2019.
But not everyone smokes. I get that. There are a lot of nerds out there. If you fall into that category – don’t fret! Because no matter where you fall in the social hierarchy of your school, you will be forced to shotgun beers morning, noon and night. That’s just what’s going to happen. And you don’t want to use your gross ass keys or worry about tetanus from cutting up your thumb getting your suck hole opened. That’s where Rook’s innards come through in a big way. A quick twist and a stab and you’ve got a perfect hole every single time. You’re a hero. People will adore you and shower you with praise.
Having a Rook isn’t just owning a practical tool for any and all situations that may arise throughout your years at school. It’s a statement piece, letting your peers know that you’re *that* dude. Plus, it just looks fire, and can probably be used as a solid bonking tool if you’re ever attacked by a gang of roving soccer hooligans. No matter the situation, The Rook’s got your back.