Random Observations from Pats Preseason Game 4 vs. the Giants

Going 3-1 couldn’t matter less. I measure the success of a preseason by whether or not the most memorable moment was your two biggest offensive weapons swapping yoga tips and 80s movie references. By that metric, this was a championship-caliber Fauxball season.

This was the annual Don’t Get Anybody Hurt Bowl against the Giants.  It’s also the last Friday of summer, so I’m not about to take a huge deep dive into this one. I’m just going to rely on my own cultural radar as to what people care about. So if you’re here for the hot takes on Cedrick Lang and Nick Thurman, you should try … actually I don’t know where you would try. Maybe the IGs of Cedrick Lang and Nick Thurman. For this one, I’m on the faculty of The Dan Fouts School of Shallow Analysis.

— If you’re looking for where guys stand on the Pats roster, last night wasn’t so much about who got playing time as much as who didn’t take snaps. It’s a Sherlock Holmes “The Dog That Didn’t Bark” thing. Last year in the DGAH Bowl, there were only like 10-12 non-Special Teamers who even made the roster. And the only player who played a lot and was a major contributor to the season was Jason McCourty, who was at safety deep into the 4th quarter, which had some convinced (I pull my hat down over my eyes and raise my hand) convinced he was in trouble.

— In this one, there’s a whole list of younger, newer guys I expected to see because their rankings on the depth chart are still up in the air. But seeing them on the sidelines with their helmets off means they are solidly entrenched as starters/rotational backups. I’m talking about Chase Winovich, Damien Harris, Isaiah Wynn, Ju’Whaun Bentley and  JC Jackson, to name a few. Watching them hanging out with the veteran starters is a good sign the Class of ’19 and redshirted freshmen from last year are ready to play major roles.

— The obvious exception being the wide receiver position, and watching the starters roll out there for most of the first half alone was worth the full ticket price that the NFL oligarchs impose on their loyal subjects. The last time I remember seeing anything transform from a mess into a masterpiece so fast, Bob Ross took some black triangles and in a couple of brushstrokes turned them into a mountain range at sunrise.

— I get that there’s a long way to go and a lot of variables and understanding this offense isn’t all about having physical tools as much as it’s having it between your earholes because it’s complex.

But just watching a team have to defend Josh Gordon and Demaryius Thomas on the same side of the formation had me sitting on a towel. More impressive than Thomas’ numbers – 7 Catches on 8 Targets for 87 Yards and 2 TDs – seemed to be his grasp of the concepts and patterns, the combo routes and the sight reads. That touchdown on the deep ball where he ran off the coverage and then broke to the back shoulder throw was vintage Peyton Manning-era Thomas. His slide across the back of the end zone with Jarrett Stidham rolling to his left when the protection broke down was a veteran move. There was the PBU on the 2-point conversion where he maybe could’ve come back harder to the ball. And he tried to handle a Jet Sweep handoff with his fingertips and predictably fumbled. But I’m not going to pick nits. The man tore his Achilles eight months ago and has been practicing for less than two weeks. This is a triumph.

— Same with Josh Gordon, who didn’t nearly have Thomas’ production and had a few balls knocked out of his hands. But again, this is why camp matters. And why last night’s snaps in game conditions were so critical. They’ve put on tape that Gordon and Thomas are going to be lining up alongside each other, on either side of the field. A pair of 6-3, 225 veterans with speed who are matchup nightmares and you’re going to have to find enough big bodies to cover them both. How long ago was it that we were all saying how rolling paper thin the receiving corps looked? Two weeks? Three at most? Keith Butler is going to be watching this tape later in his office in Pittsburgh this morning and he’s going to need Zoloft.

— I get why there was momentary panic when Edelman came up shaking his injured thumb hand. It’s the natural, human reaction. Unless you remember that he missed all of last September and had to settle for winning the Super Bowl MVP. And based on him learning The Crane from Brady-san, let’s cancel the MRI.

— One guy who didn’t play and it’s NOT a good sign is Braxton Berrios. It seems as though that little 5-9 (yeah, right), 190 lb (as if) bundle of potential is going to have to become a jersey-selling folk hero somewhere else. Unless the personnel staff can work miracles with the designations and injury lists or stash him in Pawtucket for a while, there’s just no way Honey Nut Berrios can crack a WR corps that is suddenly this deep. The new generation of young Pats fans is still looking for its Danny Woodhead.

— And they might have found him in Gunner Olszewski. While he’s not the heroically Frodo-sized legend Berrios could’ve been, he’s a hell of a story if he makes the roster. Kick and punt returner. Wide receiver depth guy. Who took reps at cornerback and defended a pass. He could be this team’s Brock Holt. With one of the great, spot-on names for his particular sport since the Cincinnati Reds had Champ Summers.

— And while we’re speaking of names, I’m putting in a work order that the Pats find spots for Scooby Wright III (who played well) and Calvin Munson. And give me a 2019 of blogs that practically write themselves. C’mon. We missed out on Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. I’m owed a couple.

— Scooby, by the way, had one of the most impressive sacks you’ll see all year, disrupting the pass, flushing the pocket, coming off his block and chasing the QB down from behind. The Front 7 depth chart is going to be hard to crack. But based this taste from his Trader Joe’s Sample Counter, I don’t hate his chances.

— Jarrett Stidham looks like the prototype of a mid-round QB prospect who needs time to develop but will be in the NFL for 15 years. I’m looking forward to a day three years from now when we’re all upset they traded him for a 2nd round pick. And I’ll be stunned if the Patriots don’t carry three quarterbacks.

— On the defensive side of the ball, the two rookies who played like they’ve become Made Men in the Mayo Mafia (I wasn’t going for alliteration; that was inadvertent and I apologize) are Joejuan Williams and Byron Cowart. The Giants put Keion Crossen on missile lock most of the night, and when they did target Williams, he made them pay. On one checkdown to a shallow cross, he came roaring downhil, squared up, got low, drove through the receiver and wrapped him up with a form that should be used in a coaching tape. Cowart was a factor, both in holding his ground as a 3-technique run stopper and getting penetration on drop backs. I’m guessing Williams will play in subs behind Jackson and McCourty, and Cowart will be an 8-10 snap guy for now. But they definitely look like capable pros.

— Duke Dawson has proven he’s consistent. He’s good for at least one penalty after getting beaten off the line per game. Unless everything we know about football is wrong, we’ve seen the last of him in a Patriots uniform.

— I’d like to thank all my fellow Jake Bailey Heads for the love, the support, and for tracking his hang times for me all off-season.

I’ve had more discussions about a rookie punter than I’ve ever though possible and enjoyed every one. We are in for a hell of a ride.

— I wish I had video of it. But Josh McDaniels and Thomas had an intimate moment after his second touchdown that you’ll only find in a Nicholas Sparks’ film or between two men who realize they could’ve found themselves in post-Andrew Luck Indy.

Let’s drop the banner already and kick this damned thing off.