PFF Is Reporting That Cris Collinsworth Has Retired The Sunday Night Slide-In

There I was, preparing myself for the first full weekend of football when Earth-shattering news erupted in my eardrums. On today’s episode of The PFF NFL Show, Steve Palazzolo casually dropped some of the most important news around the NFL in years. Cris Collinsworth, owner of Pro Football Focus and wheeled-office chair aficionado, has officially hung up the slide once and for all. Per PFF’s hosts Palazzolo and Sam Monson:

Monson: Presumably another fine season of the Collinsworth slide?

Palazzolo: He’s not sliding anymore.

Monson: He’s not sliding anymore?!

Palazollo: No. He was over the slide last year. Because he was like, “What do I do anymore?” And we were telling him to repel from the rafters and stuff like that. And he was like, “No, I’m done. I’m done with all that.” They’re going to pan to him, normally.

An end to an era to put things lightly. If they canceled this season based on this news I wouldn’t argue, it feels like the right move. Not to be dramatic, but the Collinsworth Slide was one of the few things this country agreed upon was actually good and not bad. Why wasn’t he just on the screen in the first place? What kind of contract was Al Michaels working off of that demanded he opened every Sunday night in a soliloquy? Why not just sit still and wait for the camera to pan out? It made no sense but at the same time it made all the sense in the world. It was perfect, it was ours. And now, it’s gone. Like dust in the wind. Gunned down in its prime. Gone, but never forgotten.

Goodnight, sweet prince. Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future. But, for now, #RIPIP.