Boston.Com Love Letters - My Boyfriend Saves Pics of Other Women
The Letter
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost three years now. I’ve noticed, on occasion, that he has taken screenshots or screen-recorded Snapchats of his close female friends who I am also friends with. They are usually selfies or full body shots. Nothing revealing or anything. Maybe a little cleavage or something but nothing sexual. These are pictures they post on their Snapchat stories.
I accidentally found them, and they kind of make me feel a bit insecure, and I feel, like, weird because his friends don’t know about him having them – or maybe they do. I’m not sure. What should I do? Should I just let this pass or should I confront him?
I know he cares about me, but am I just overthinking this picture thing? They appear every couple of months. He doesn’t do it often.
– His album
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Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Response
I have to wonder what other pictures are in your boyfriend’s phone. Is he a someone who saves a lot of content? Does he tend to take screen grabs of many things and keep them for posterity? Or did you find 20 photos of these friends and nothing else? Context is important here.
If he does seem to be focused on shots of friends – pictures that you believe are revealing in specific ways – you might consider asking him what they’re about, and yes, it would require admitting that you “accidentally” found them. It does sound like these photos are haunting you. If that’s the case, get it all out of your system. It can be a simple conversation; you saw them felt uncomfortable, and you’ve been wondering about his motives. (It does help that these pictures are public or have been shared with him.)It’s time to ask.
– Meredith
Readers? Are these photos a red flag?
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I’m about to say something that if you are a long time Stoolie you know is a huge statement. In the history of me doing this Love Letters segment this may be the worst advice Hoss Goldstein has ever given. He may be the type of guy who just screenshots tons of stuff for posterity? What the hell does that even mean? Luckily I am here to give the real answer.
El Pres Answer
Dear His Album,
First things first. How do you accidentally find pictures on your boyfriends phone? That’s like accidentally going to dinner and ordering a steak. You spied on him plain and simple. And apparently unless you literally found videos of him fucking your best friend there was nothing that you could find that would force you to break up with him. Oh you feel insecure because he is screenshotting full body pictures of your friends? Gee you don’t say. HONEY WAKE UP! There is no such thing as innocently taking screen shots of girls. Even snapchat knows that. That’s why they notify you when somebody does it. And despite what Hoss Goldstein says guys just don’t save shit for posterity. We save pics of girls because cause we want to fuck the them. In fact I bet he is probably sending these to these girls saying they look hot and he wants to bang. At the very Ieast he is already jerking off to them. So yeah I’d say you have a problem. Unless you’re into threesomes then let it roll.