Are We Really About To Let Tits Be The Biggest Story Of The World Series?

Again? Uh, I think I speak for all men when I say a hearty “no thanks”.

As someone who works at Barstool SPORTS, I think I know a thing or two about SPORTS culture & can tell you the gents out there are furious at this whole debacle.

You show up with the boys to watch baseball, but suddenly you’re sitting in Anatomy 501 instead ’cause some chicks wanna promote a magazine?

Is it that difficult to keep your (exquisite) second bases away from the home plate viewing? There are pro athletes at work & the only bright yellow that dudes wanna see back there is catcher Kurt Suzuki’s painted fingernails. Let me spell it out:

N-O:

Y-E-S:

Men attending the game, I think we each know there’s only one way to take the World Series back from all this namby-pamby ‘ladyboobs’ talk.

Tomorrow night in Houston as Game 6 kicks off, you’ve got to pull *em out (*your genitals) (**dongs) & start helicoptering so fast that the stadium lifts several feet off the ground. Rereclaim the game by spinning so hard you’ll hypnotize the viewers at home, take back baseball by whipping ‘em around with more enthusiasm than a drunk Steeler’s fan with a Terrible Towel. Grab that dick, crank it up like a toy tank and let that sucker go.

Thankfully there will be no competition as you execute this plan, as the models have been banned from the stadium (and all MLB events for that matter).

And I don’t know about you but I hope that’s the last of the *inappropriate type (*non-men’s) of nipples we’ll ever have to see again. Let’s stick to SPORTS and the family-friendly hairy man nipples we all know & love.