BREAKING NEWS: Cannabis, Often Referred To As Marijuana, Is A Very Popular Drug

People waiting in line for up to SIX FUCKING HOURS in Chicago yesterday buy some weed. Estimations of revenue on Day 1 of weed being legal are in the hundreds of millions. That’s an unofficial count by my own brain by seeing every dispensary in Chicago with lines bigger than a new release of Jordans. Pension plans…funded. Deficit…erased. Infrastructure…10 new airports, new El system, public schools with diamonds on the doorknobs. Maybe those schools will even have an arts program. Everything is in play and we owe it all to weed and people who can’t get enough of it.

The results are in and it would appear that people LOVE weed. Love it. Can’t get enough of it. And…they like to do it legally. These people, people like me, are commonly referred to as “suckers” or “fucking idiots” because while licenses for legal weed distribution were rare and expensive I think if you know what you’re doing, drug dealers will still make deliveries like postmates. Or at least that is what I have been lead to believe. I am kind of a pussy when it comes to that so I don’t have a drug dealer, but I was going to make a trip to a dispensary yesterday as a tax-paying, law-adiding citizen and then I saw reports of the lines…

and STRAIGHT back to my couch. I am interested, but also…I don’t care about anything enough to wait in the cold for 6 hours. People missed the Rose Bowl for weed. Smh. And people said it was non-addictive.

PS: How pumped is Aurellios? They probably had their best day of sales ever and it was just because they rented a piece of real estate probably like 20 years ago and the weed gods blessed them with a great new neighbor. Business is a boomin