The UK Royal Mint Is Releasing Three Dinosaur-Themed Coins To The Public And I've Never Been More Jealous Of Another Country In My Life
(Source)- The Royal Mint is releasing three new dinosaur-themed coins - the first ever in the UK. The series of 50p coins is a collaboration with palaeoartist Bob Nicholls and experts at the Museum.
The coins will honour the first three dinosaurs ever named - Megalosaurus, Iguanodon and Hylaeosaurus - although at the time they were named, 'dinosaurs' as a group didn't exist. In fact, it was these three animals that made Sir Richard Owen realise that there was something different enough about them that they warranted being placed in a new group, that he named Dinosauria.
The three species will be featured on five series of collectors' coins. Although they will be legal tender, they won't go into circulation. Instead members of the public will be able to buy the coins, either individually or in sets.
What, and I say this in the most American way possible, the bloody fuck is this all about? As someone that takes great pride in his country and will never miss a chance to join a USA chant or remind an English chap that our forefathers kicked their forefathers back across the pond more than 200 years ago, this news legitimately hurt my soul. How did the country responsible for Jurassic Park and God knows how many hit or miss sequels allow those fancy Brits to beat them to the punch of printing money with dinosaurs on it? Thanks for nothing, Spielberg. I'll start a Brexit right this goddamn instant if I have to in order to get dinosaurs on a coin.
Which actually raises a bigger question. Why do we still print money with Presidents and dead dudes with white wigs on their head? If the government really wants to kickstart the US Mint and fight back against electronic money as well as things like Bitcoin, they should start printing money with cool shit on it. First up would obviously be dinosaurs cooler than the Megalosaurus, Iguanodon, and Hylaeosaurus which shouldn't be that tough since all those dinosaurs stink. I'm thinking we go with at least the T-Rex, brontosaurus, triceratops, velociraptor, and stegosaurus.
But why stop there? Lets throw all of the great Americans of our time on some money. I'm thinking Tom Hanks on the 20 bill, Homer Simpson on the 50, and The Rock taking down a syphilis-ridden Ben Franklin on the C-Note. You could still put great Presidents like FDR and Honest Abe on the coins while also embracing The Internet Age by adding something like a new $100 gold-looking coin featuring the amateur sketch of the Mobile Alabama leprechaun.
Then you could cycle in the biggest names in American pop culture every 10 years or so in order to stay fresh while also causing people to want to trade money like baseball cards. Do you know the kind of bump the economy would get if we did something like that?
*Counts on fingers*
By my estimation, it would inject roughly a zillion dollars into the US economy overnight. And in case the President or any of his family members are reading this, I think whoever the current sitting President is should be on a newly created $1000 bill, which then changes once the President changes.
Boom, I'm pretty sure this revolutionary new plan will be introduced by lunchtime tomorrow, absolute latest.