You Guys Heard About Rocking Chairs?

You know these things? Rocking chairs? I'll tell ya, what a delight!

Last night I sat in a rocking chair for the first time in god knows how long, a nice old wooden one no pads or anything, rocking chairs shouldn't have pads, and it was the most relaxed I've been in ages. For the life of me I don't know why these aren't more common place. You know how they say youth is wasted on the young? Well rocking chairs are wasted on the old. Us young people, the millennials, the harbingers of death, we spend our lives in stupid chairs. Shitty office chairs that sound fancy and say "ergonomic" then we go home to dumb chairs and couches. Why? Every chair we ever sit in should be a rocking chair.

The moment your cheeks touch seat a weight is lifted off you. You're sitting but you're also playing a fun game and every time your toes bounce off the ground you feel 5 years younger. As the wooden back creaks, you immediately think, "Boy, I'd love love a glass of whiskey to really set this party off." Next thing you know you've got some hay in your mouth and a banjo in your lap and you've been transported to the most marvelous place on earth. 

And yet, they're not everywhere. You think old people don't are so relaxed because they don't have jobs and just cash checks every month? No, it's because they're too busy rocking. Old people and babies, the two groups of people who don't give a shit about anything, are the ones smart enough to hit a rock on the daily. You think that's a coincidence? I doubt it.

There's a trend on Twitter where people start tweets off with "I don't know who needs to hear this but" and then they say something that no one really needs to hear, so let me continue it and say I don't know who needs to hear this but sit in a rocking chair today. They're soothing, they improve your posture, they fight dementia, help you lose weight, and improve your balance (all infor I got from the very first link on a "rocking chair" google search, so maybe not to any of it. But let's just go with it). They're nature's cure-all and the best kind of chair, bar none. 

That's why Benjamin Martin tried so hard to make the perfect one.