Breaking News: Urban Meyer Is Lost At Sea

Dispatch – Ohio State football coach Urban Meyer is circling in the Gulf of Mexico. The ship, with a reported 2,500 on board and due in port yesterday, has been in a holding pattern about 20 miles off the coast for a day now waiting for the dense fog to lift. That’s not expected until at least 7 p.m. today according to the latest weather advisory.

Oh my god. It’s happening already! The Harbaugh Effect has begun. You think Urban Meyer gets lost at sea with Brady Hoke at the helm? No fucking chance. Hoke doesn’t even know how to use a headset nevermind mess with a boat’s navigation system. Like there is zero chance that Harbaugh doesn’t have a boat on the other side of this fog with a million fog machines just wrapping this Ohio State ship in a cocoon of horror. I’d say there is a 15% chance this ship never docks. This ain’t mother nature. It’s much much more diabolical and I love it.