Dear A-Rod: Please Don't Buy The Mets

Dear Alex, 

Hope all is well. Been awhile since we’ve had the chance to get together. I miss the times where you walk through the Barstool office and I awkwardly stare at you with my mouth agape. I know you’re an avid reader of all my blogs so I figured this was the best way to reach you. I promise you that one day you’ll finally get the “Audience Thought Of The Week” on my Thursday Thoughts. Keep submitting them!

Anyway, I saw the report that you and J-Lo are reportedly hiring JP Morgan Chase to raise money so you guys can make a bid at owning the Mets. I am asking you to please not do this. Speaking on behalf of all Yankee fans but especially myself, I can say that this would be a real conflict of interest. 

I have no idea how I’d handle having my favorite baseball player ever own the team I hate most. I certainly will still root hard against the Mets, but it won’t feel right rooting so hard against someone I’ve cheered on for basically my entire life. Laughing at the organization’s mishaps and embarrassments just won’t feel the same. 

Besides, do the Mets really need new owners? The Wilpons, friends of Dave and Barstool, do a great job of running the team. Top-notch owners in every sense of the word. Those would be some pretty huge shoes to fill.

You had such a great exit as a Yankee. Went out on good terms, and had a role with the team. Don’t go to the crosstown rivals. Besides, do you really want to burden yourself with running that mess of an organization? Just enjoy retirement and being a celebrity with your beautiful soon-to-be-wife Jennifer Lopez. 

However, if you do decide to take buy the Mets, maybe don’t be afraid to help the Yankees out? Your guy Derek gave us Giancarlo for essentially nothing. That deGrom is pretty good. Wouldn’t mind taking his contract on for a few low-end prospects. Think on it. 

Your friend,

Tommy