I Cannot Believe How Incredibly Popular Cheerios Are Compared To Every Other Cereal

Via WP – Take Cheerios, for instance. The cereal is starved for growth, but it’s shown a remarkable resilience. General Mills, which makes Cheerios (along with a number of other popular morning carb-heavy meals), sold nearly $1 billion worth of the little circular guys last year, according to data from market research firm Euromonitor. While that’s a tad lower than 2013 sales, that’s still a hefty load of breakfast cereal. (Honey Nut Cheerios, for what it’s worth, have been the best selling variety for years now, followed by regular Cheerios and Multi-Grain Cheerios). Then there are a handful of cereals with higher sugar content that Americans still seem to love. Frosties, or Frosted Flakes, are the second-bestselling cereal in this country. Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms are also still popular. Other cereals haven’t fared so well over time, such as the once-coveted brand Wheaties. The breakfast of champions, which used to boast ad campaigns starring athletes like Michael Jordan, has been limping around lately. Last year, sales of Wheaties dipped to $17 million, per Euromonitor, marking at least the tenth straight year in which people bought fewer boxes of the the whole-grain flakes. Corn Pops, which managed only $88 million in sales in 2014, has also fallen out of favor. When you look closer at the performance of each cereal over time, you can also see just how well sugary cereals like Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Lucky Charms and Froot Loops have done. The three have seen sales jump considerably (by 35 percent, 30 percent, and 17 percent, respectively) since 2005. And, perhaps more importantly, they have become more popular in recent years while other cereals have struggled.

This ain’t a knock on Cheerios. I’ll eat me a bowl here and there. Honey Nut, not too shabby either. I’ve been told I’m crazy that I prefer the regular over Honey Nut, but whatever, different floats for different boats. The point here isn’t to make some Buzzfeed list of top 10 Cereals 90’s kids will love, it’s just look how fucking popular Cheerios are compared to every other cereal. CHEERIOS! We ain’t talking about Cocoa Puffs, we talkin about Cheerios. Cheerios man. Not something sugary. Cheerios. They’re more than double as popular as the next most popular cereal. Insane. That many people are trying to lower their cholesterol?  Frosted Flakes coming into the 2 hole I’m fine with. Not a fan of that stuff either, but it’s fine. But batting 3rd is Muesli? I’ve literally never heard of Muesli. Suffice to say if you eat Muesli you should be euthanized. You’re part of the problem if you eat Muesli. The terrorists win if you eat Muesli. Finally you go down to numbers 6 and 7 and you get some of the good stuff. CTC and Lucky Charms. Now this is another unpopular cereal opinion, but nothing has ever been as overrated as the marshmallows in Lucky Charms. I love marshmallows. I don’t love those stale marshmallows in Lucky Charms they try to pass as marshmallows. I think a lot of people pretend to love Lucky Charms because it’s the trendy thing to do, but give me CTC all day every day over Lucky Charms. Finally, a very underrated and delicious cereal is Apple Jacks. That shit is delicious. I fucks so hard with Apple Jacks. I also weirdly like Raisin Bran. I think that’s old, mature Nate. Two scoops of raisins keeps the doctor away.

PS: Fucking Wheaties. So far in last place you’d think it was Portnoy’s horse. I’m 99% sure that 99% of Wheaties sales is people who want to display the box. Wheaties taste like cow dick (or so I’d imagine).