Google Patents New Technology That Will Protect You From TV Spoilers On Social Media

(NEWSER) – Google has received a patent designed to ease the pain of a modern malady: the spoiler. As Quartzreports, the system would sniff out potentially painful posts from people in your social network and warn you about them. You could then block those posts if you so choose. For it to work, you’d have to plug in information about what you’re watching or reading—or perhaps import it from third-party sites such as Netflix. If someone is ahead of you onHouse of Cards, their offending tweet about Frank Underwood would then raise red flags. It’s just a patent at this point, and it’s not clear whether Google would consider launching this as its own entity or teaming up with the likes of Facebook or Twitter. It’s also possible the idea might just die before seeing the light of day. As a spokesperson puts it to Ars Technica, “Prospective product announcements should not necessarily be inferred from our patents.”

I think we’ve transitioned as a people. We’ve officially moved from the Selfie Era to the Spoiler Era. The Selfie Era was the beginning, the Spoiler Era is the next step. It started as thinking the world needed to see pictures of ourselves. Now its at the point where we think the world should be completely customized to the point that we shouldnt have to see or hear anything we dont want to.

Life does not stop and start at your convenience you miserable piece of shit. There’s a difference between assholes who intentionally spoil a TV show for you and you complaining that the rest of the world is simply talking about something you havent watched yet. The best part about TV is talking about it with other people who watch. What you liked, what you didnt like, what your predictions are. All that shit. And I’ve decided I’m not gonna not do that shit just because there’s a zillion people out there who havent watched yet. Newsflash: I do not give a fuccccck about  internet strangers and whether or not I ruined their TV viewing. I barely give a fuck about actual, real people in my life. If you think I give a shit that some dopes on Twitter are still catching up on Game of Thrones and dont know who won Trial By Combat yet, you are sadly mistaken. So everybody download your Google Spoiler Plug In in a few years and make sure your precious little ears and eyeballs never have to have your TV programs ruined. You pricks.