Swamp Ass: A Play In Six Acts

We've all been in the exact position this young man encountered. You put some shorts on before going to golf, play pickup ball, go to your friend's sister's graduation party or some dumb shit like that. Unfortunately, you didn't check the humidity before heading out, dipshit! About 2-1/2 hours into your event, you feel your pants start sloshing around. Your sopping-wet buttcheeks are sliding against eachother like 2 raw chicken thighs. Gross. Hopefully you at least practice proper hygiene and don't get exiled like that one kid in school that they wouldn't let sit criss-cross-applesauce. The difference between most of us and this guy, though, is that he might actually need to start wearing adult diapers before going out into the sun. Or at least start using medical-grade Gold Bond and stop wearing grey pants/shorts.